Conditional - {Kylo Ren X Reader}

Chapter 18

I'm trying something new this chapter that I hope you guys enjoy!

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You were on your way to report to Supreme Leader Snoke about Starkiller base and you truly feared what outcome you would be faced with. You blamed the Resistance entirely but you knew that yourself and Snoke would not see eye to eye on the responsibilities of Starkiller base. As you neared the door to Snoke's throne room you adjusted your Generals uniform, making sure you looked as pristine and clean to see your leader. You breathed in as you were faced with the door and it opened, a room of red engulfing your view and there he was sitting on his throne, the Supreme Leader surrounded by his Elite Praetorian Guard. Your view stayed focused on your leader as you approached him, your heart racing anticipating the anger of your leader.

"General Hux, my disappointment for your failure of Starkiller base is prominent, but I sense something else you haven't informed me of," Snoke spoke slowly, his words rolling off his tongue in such a menacing tone your jaw tightened as he finished. 

"Supreme Leader, there was a disturbance between your apprentice and a rebel prisoner. I ordered her for termination to rid us of h-," before you could finish you were flung to the ground and pulled towards Snoke's throne. You tasted blood in your mouth as your body hit the ground, the impact sending a slap through the room. Your body frozen and stiff as you slid across the floor. 

"General! Your incompetence to inform me of this disturbance is dissatisfying," his voice bellowing around the room, your eyes stayed on him trying not to show even a split second of fear. 

"She avoided termination, but only because of the rebel attack," you replied, sitting up from the ground

"If you continue to disappoint me, perhaps your termination will be upon us. As for Kylo Ren and this prisoner, order him to me at once,"

"As you wish, Supreme Leader," pushing yourself up and standing to face him. You bowed your head and turned to walk to the exit

"If my apprentice is found to be incompetent again, bring the girl to me, I will deal with her myself," his words making you stop in place, and you knew that was your queue to leave. As the door closed behind you, you let out the breath you had been holding in and wiped the blood from your face with your hand. Kylo Ren continued to get in the way of your plans, you would have to see to it that his demise be sooner rather than later. And the prisoner would be your perfect alibi. 

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Kylo had stayed locked in that room for hours, barely making a sound as you assumed he was reminiscing on what he had just done. Or he was plotting your death, his unpredictability sending your brain into overdrive with anxiety. You considered checking on him but your senses told you otherwise so you wandered around his quarters, searching for something even slightly interesting to distract your thoughts. 

Your eyes fell on the desk that was near the door and you cautiously approached it, perhaps you would find the answers that Kylo wouldn't tell you. You pulled out the chair and sat down, taking in a breath as your eyes searched the surface of the desk. Just like everything else about Kylo you could see bare minimum on his desk, besides a few pens. You leaned to the side and looked under to see if there was anything else for you to pry into, and you noticed the single draw next to your head. You reached down and pressed the button expecting it to open straight away but of course, it wasn't that simple. 

"Of course he's got a fucking cyberlock on it," you whispered, shaking your head.

You looked underneath the draw and around the desk for the keypad, even if you found it how would you know the combination? You leaned to the left side of the desk to see if there was anything there, nothing. So you leaned to the right side, peering around and just when you were about to look away you spotted the keypad directly on the outer side of the draw. Now was the fun part, you thought to yourself. You only had three attempts, if you fail all three then the lock sounds an alarm and the last thing you wanted to do was alert Kylo of your sneaking through his things. You immediately started listing things that Kylo would put the combination your mind fell on the year the First Order was established, 29 ABY. The keypad beeped as you put in the numbers but it flashed red alerting you it was incorrect. You chewed on your lip trying to figure out any other thing he would put it as. Your minimal knowledge of his personal life making this more difficult by the second. You focused your mind and reached out towards the keypad, your hand hovering over it and you immediately felt like the world around you shifted, you looked down and saw a pair of large hands that belonged to you, but as you concentrated more you realized they were Kylo's. You watched carefully as he pressed the keypad, 19. 

You closed your eyes as a painful sensation flew through your mind. It felt like someone was tightening screws into the sides of your head and pounding a hammer above your eyes. The pain never going away. It was causing electric-shock-like pain in your neck and behind your ears. You gripped your head with your hands, begging for the pain to stop and no matter how much you wanted to cry out you didn't dare. You squeezed your head harder hoping the force would make it stop. It felt like an eternity before the pain became lesser and lesser, your luck obvious as Kylo stayed locked away in isolation. You got yourself together, rubbing your eyes with the palms of your hands and you reached back to the keypad punching in the combination, 19. And the draw popped open, you were hesitant to see what inhabited this draw but your curiosity took over as you peered inside. 

You frowned noticing a small assortment of peculiar items in the draw, it contained a set of strange pens, a box with perforations in the lid which looked as if they were pen sockets, and an assortment of parchment scrolls. You reached inside, picking up one of the pens, you brought it closer to you surveying in. It was light in weight and wooden, a weight at one end and the other was pointed, this end looked as though it was covered in black ink. And you pieced it all together. It was a calligraphy set! You were shocked that he cared for something so materialistic. And something inside you warmed as you thought of him taking the time and care to use something so human. You instinctively closed the draw quietly, knowing that it was better off that he never knew of your knowledge of it. 

You stood up from the chair and sat at the table, hoping that sitting somewhere else would make it less obvious. You heard a door open and shut and turned to look at Kylo, he scanned the room until his eyes fell on you and he took a step towards you.

"What are you doing?" he asked bluntly, you huffed and tried to look him in the eye as you replied.

"Sitting,"

"That's obvious," he stated, his face not even flinching from its emotionless state

"Than why did you ask?" you said raising a brow at him

"Your mind is blank, what are you hiding from me?"

"I thought you wanted to be rid of my thoughts," you said standing up to face him, his eyes still as empty as before, you noticed he was holding his mask in his hand. 

He huffed and looked you up and down as he spoke your name.

"You owe me an apology," you cocked your head at him beckoning for his response. But he stayed silent as he watched you. "You know, you are almost as pretentious as Hux,"

"Watch yourself," he said taking another step towards you, you swallowed.

"I deserve to be treated properly, I'm no less an equal to you Kylo," he stayed silent, so you stepped closer to him, you felt pulled towards him but you stayed at a safe distance. "Can you please say something that's even half considerate?"

"No, why do you care so much?" his voice sounded curious but his body language displayed the opposite. Your heart began to beat faster, your hands becoming moist with sweat as you thought of your reply. What were you supposed to tell him? That you cared about him? That you loved him? You knew he would ridicule you in a second. 

"Because," you whispered. He raised a brow at you, encouraging you to continue, despite your desperation to not expose your true feelings something told you to tell him. To expose your true weakness to a man that could end your very existence right there and then with the flick of his wrist. You were frozen in place as your voice struggled to release your words, "I-I um," Kylo looked inpatient with your incompetence only raising your anxiety more. 

"I love you," you whispered, barely loud enough for even yourself to hear

Kylo's eyes flickered between fury and confusion and you felt conflicted, scared and fearful all at once. Before you could comprehend his actions he had stormed to the door, leaving a wake of chaos behind him. He had left you, with no response alone, isolated and afraid.