Vent Book.. This Is Compeleted.

Starve..

Hannah's P.O.V

We're taught from a young age that to be perfect, you have be skinny. Standing in the mirror wishing I looked beautiful, wishing I knew what it was like to feel even the tiniest bit pretty, to feel comfortable in my own skin, to understand why Ana and Mia are here. To understand why for 13 years I was perfectly happy, everything was great. But the last four to lead me up to now being 16 where hardest years, but this is the hardest year yet. Sometimes I wonder why I don't eat, is it because I don't feel comfortable in my own skin? Is it because I'm not pretty, I'm not beautiful, I'm just the fat, ugly girl or why she always feels uncomfortable in her own skin. I'm a fat girl with scars and cuts, not knowing why I do them, not knowing why I can't be the perfect girl my parents wanted. The thing is that people don't get it, they don't get why I don't eat, or I should feel comfortable in my own skin but I don't. The don't get that even though the may see me as beautiful, skinny or perfect, that I won't see the same, that I've stopped eating to feel beautiful. To feel comfortable in my own skin. Once there was a girl, a girl who was born into a family of joy, love, and perfection, to which she didn't understand as she got older, she began to she that she was different to get family. Different from everyone else she knew. She knew she liked girls from a very young age but it's hard for her to understand why that liking girls is something that's not allowed in this so call perfect family. Sometimes she thinks to herself, if she actually likes Isabella, or is that she likes that Isabella can be who she what's she wants to be, dress how ever she wants and still look beautiful enough for her to still eat a be skinny. Whereas I'm not, when ever I eat I get fat, and when I get fat, I don't feel pretty or beautiful. Not eating was my only way to feel pretty, beautiful, skinny,or to feel, I'm actually a girl for once. But Isabella has notice that I'm becoming skinny again, that I'm not eating as much as I used to.
(Isabella said)" are you going to eat your lunch?"
(I said) "what kind of question is that?.. I'm not hungry."
(Isabella said)"you have to eat"
(I said)"I know"...