Vent Book.. This Is Compeleted.

Back To This Again.

Hannah's P.O.V

I sit silently in my room looking at my food back and forth through the mirror, while trying to see if there's a weight loss from not eating for almost month, all I could see was my eyes moving back and forth, my food, then my thighs, my food, the my fat stomach, then my food again. The Temptation is overwhelming, as I pick up my fork, I hear my worst enemy, I can her Ana yelling at me "don't do it" but I ignored her words, and let them fade away back into the back of my mind, ready for me to soon regret what I about to do. I look at my plate and see that I'm almost finished, I completely clean the plate, and I could already here Mia, saying "it's time to pay for what you did", it was back to Eat. Binge. Purge. Repeat, back to this again and I thought this was over, I need to get back to not eating again, I wish I was thin like all the other girls in my school. I wanna be skinny, tall, to notice that all, and the only to that is to never eat again. "You see that I have a big secret to keep, do not tell Isabella, you know what will happen.." my mind was going crazy, saying this again and again, like a cycle that I couldn't stop.
Eat. Binge. Purge. Repeat my new reality starting to become nothing but a phrase, or a saying, and eating was no longer my problem.
(Bella said)" hey you hungry?.."
(I said)"no not really I just ate"
(Bella said)"oh I can see from those half eaten packets of chocolate, come on your not back at this again, because you promise me that this would stop.?"
(I said)"no I mean I'm not that hungry but maybe I just have a sandwich, if you want me to eat something.."
(Bella said)"OK if you not hungry I won't force you, OK."
I could feel Isabella staring at me but this time there was no anger in her eyes, instead her eyes were filled with lust, looking at me up and down, checking me out, yes I knew she may of liked me I don't know but all I think about now is how this moment could be the time I will ever get to actually kiss her, she finally noticed me this was working.
( said)"Bella why you looking at me like that.?"..
I got my reply with her lips on mine, something I thought would never happen in this lifetime, something of dream of happening, and I it just happened, but what happens now?...