ILYNTB || Jeonglix

twenty-one

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"Forget about Changbin."

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Felix's cheeks flushed and he looked up at Jeongin, the younger showing no signs of joking. He was completely stone faced and serious. It was kind of hot.

"Innie, I cant just do that—"

"And why not?"

Jeongin didn't seem to show any signs of backing down. He knew that Felix had smallest space open for him in his heart and that alone gave him the courage to speak as he did. But this question alone this single three word question, was what made him shut up.

He didn't understand how to convey to Felix how he wished to hold him every night for the rest of their lives. He didn't know how to show Felix that he would love for the older to be the first thing he saw every morning for the rest of his life. He didn't know how to tell Felix anything.

Maybe that was the reason the smaller still had feelings for the asshole who kept breaking his heart. Because that asshole tells Felix things and makes him feel secure in a way Jeongin hasn't figured out yet. Changbin was so good with words he could convince someone he's killed that he didn't. Jeongin couldn't do that, so why?

Why should Felix forget Changbin? Why should he just accept the younger's feelings? Jeongin didn't know why Felix would ever want to be without him. He didn't know how it was possible for him to convince this grown man in front of him to love him when he didn't even know how to convince himself that Felix should love him. He just wanted to spend time with the boy he loved. But now his big mouth seemed to have ruined everything.

"Just forget I said anything."

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After their little talk, both Felix and Jeongin stopped trying to talk to each other. It was more of a hum and nod relationship right now and, fortunately for both of the boys, they had become pretty skilled at understanding what the other wanted with only these small sounds and movements.

They left the cafe and would be on their way home if it weren't for Felix seeing an ice cream parlor and pouting at Jeongin until he gave in. Felix really did just want some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

Felix pulled Jeongin into the pastel place, his eyes glittering with excitement. Jeongin could have melted into a puddle of feels just from that alone.

He watched the younger as he scanned the menu, searching for his beloved flavour. He was pleased to find that it was second to last on the list. So that was what he ordered.

"What do you want, Innie?" Jeongin melted again. He loved when Felix called him Innie. Even if it was just a nickname. A name that Felix gave him platonically. Jeongin couldn't help but associate the name "Innie" with being Felix's caregiver. Jeongin associated the name with soft forehead kisses and giggles. He associated the name with his love for the smaller boy.

Jeongin ordered chocolate chip cookie dough.

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Felix paid for the icecream, insisting that it would make them even because Jeongin paid for their beverages at the cafe.

It was probably about two in the afternoon now, and the duo were just walking around a large park trying to finish their ice cream before they got back to the dorm because they knew that Chan would scold them for getting ice cream.