Rich & Sad

Chapter Eleven

It was 1:30 am when I finally started making my way back home. When I got home, nothing was cleaned, if anything, it was more of a mess than how I left it. I made my way upstairs, Austin was passed out in bed. I crawled into bed and fell asleep.
* * *
I had dropped Avon off at scooters. Scooter offered to watch him for a few hours while I talk to Austin. I was reaching my breaking point with him. This behavior of his has been going on for at least 4 months, and as I got closer to delivering the baby, I wasn't so sure that I wanted him to be around when I did.
Austin was working, but he agreed to meet me on his lunch break.
I waited for Austin outside of the restaurant at the time we agreed on. Of course he was late. An hour late to be exact. We stood outside of the restaurant.
"What's up?" He asked
"You're a bit late" I mumbled.
"Yeah, I know" he mumbled. I looked across the street and saw people snapping photos.
"Can we go inside" I mumbled. He nodded.

We made our way inside and were seated immediately.
"So what do you want to talk about?" Austin asked, opening his menu. I sighed, and I was silent for a moment. He looked up at me.
"I- I don't know how much longer I can do this anymore" I said quietly. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at me confused.
"What do you mean?" He asked. I looked down and fiddled with my fingertips.
"With you" I said quietly. I didn't want anyone to hear because I know it would have started a lot of drama.
"With me? So, you don't want to be with me?" He asked, he was quiet also. I could feel the tears starting to form in my eyes. I looked up at the ceiling, trying to fight back tears.
"We just don't have the same vibe anymore, we're distant, we barely talk and when we do we fight, I rarely ever see you anymore and when I do see you, you're asleep. Avon misses you, and you're not around, and when you are around you teach him to treat me like shit" I ranted.
"Well, shit wouldn't be so bad if you'd just stop picking fights all of the time" he spat. He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. I wasn't even upset by his comment. I figured that's what he's say. I sighed, and looked down at my hands again. I brought them under the table and fiddled with my ring. I removed it from my finger and held it in the palm of my hand. I squeezed it tightly.
"I don't want this to end" he started. I looked up at him. For a moment, I had a feeling of hope, maybe he'd say something that will give me a reason to stay. Which is all I wanted.
"We can get through this together, we can work on your anger issues, it'll be-" he continued
"What?" I said cutting him off. He looked at me confused.
"My anger issues?" I said.
"Well, yeah" he said. I shook my head and sighed. I threw my purse over my shoulder and stood up. He looked up at me confused. I stood in front of him. I picked up his hand with my free hand, opened his hand, placed the ring inside of it then closed his hand.
"I'll let you know after the baby is born" I said quietly and walked away.
**
"Well you know that you and Avon are more than welcome to stay here as long as you want" Scooter said sympathetically.
"Thank you" I said giving him a small smile. It wasn't necessarily a smile, it was a 'I'm in a lot of pain' smile. After my talk with Austin, I had went home to pack some things for Avon and I so we had everything we needed for at least a week. Obviously Avon didn't know what was going on, but he was super excited to be spending the night at his Uncle Scooters.
Scooter, his wife, and I stayed up and talked about the whole situation and they gave me some tips and advice for what I should do. The verdict was that I should space myself from Austin, see if he changes and if not move on with my life. The thought pained me, especially since Austin and I had been together for 7 years now. We had only been married for a little over a year.
***