Sun Splashed Ink Wells (SnowBaz Soulmate AU)

Chapter 10

Baz

We’re almost back to Watford when my phone starts to ring incessantly. I nod to SNow and he picks it up to check the Caller ID.
    “It’s your mum,” he says, worry etching his voice. I bite my lip. Mother won’t be mad, I know that. She’s not the type to get mad. Especially not at me or my sisters. But she’ll be upset that I left without a word. I’m sure father didn’t tell her. He’s too ashamed to even confront the fact that I’m gay, let alone that the whole soulmate thing proves it. I guess it proves that Snow’s gay too. Or maybe bi. He must like boys at least, I suppose this whole thing means he does like me.
   
“It’s okay, we can answer it.” Snow nods and swipes the answer button.
    “Basilton, where on earth have you been?” Mother’s voice practically screeches into the phone. I would’ve expected a “Where the hell have you been” judging by her tone, but mother doesn’t swear. 
   
“First you miss breakfast! Then Mordelia comes into the family room going on about a Chosen One and the Insidious Humdrum!” She continues. I let out an inaudible sigh. Simon gives me a silent stare, as if waiting for permission to speak.
    “I’m fine, mother. Snow and I are headed back to school.”
    “You’ve already started back to school!? Why would you run off back to school?” She demands. I know she’s not angry, but the yelling isn’t helping.
   
“It’s nothing mother,” I try to console her, “Father and I just had a-” I pause, locking eyes with Simon, “Disagreement.” There’s some static over the phone, like she’s switching it over to the other hand. Snow and I are still staring at each other. His eyes are still full of concern. I think he’s afraid to speak in case my mother hears him. I’m not sure why, I’m sure she knows he’s with me. 
    “Was it about the business, Basil?” A juvenile snort escapes me and I shake my head even though mother can’t see me.
    “I wouldn’t have been asked to leave if it was only business,” I laugh. Simon’s still looking at me like a puppy who’s just been kicked. There’s another silence over the phone that makes me think she understands.
   
“Oh Basilton,” she breathes. 
    “Say hello to my soulmate,” I say, nodding at Simon. The nerves edge my voice despite my efforts to keep them hidden. It’s humiliating.
    “Hello Mrs. Grimm,” Simon waves at the phone. His voice is shaking so obviously that suddenly I don’t feel so bad about my own.
    “Hello, dear,” mother chokes out through a bit of a pity laugh.
    “Look, it’s alright. Father will get over it in a couple weeks and I’ll be back for spring break in April.”
    “Honey, I can talk to him-”
    “No. It won’t help. He’ll just have to get used to it one his own.” I cut in, my voice breaking ever so slightly mid-sentence. I hate to admit it, but it does hurt. That he doesn’t accept this. 
    “What did he say to you, Basil?” She asks.
    “I’ll tell you later.” I assure her. Simon takes my hand on the gear shift and squeezes it.
    “Call me back when you have a moment.”
    “I will.” I promise. Daphne hangs up so Snow and I won’t have to.
    “Baz,” Simon whispers. I shake my head, knowing that if I say anything it might all spill over. I can’t let him see that. Not again, anyway. I’m weak, I know that. But that doesn’t mean that anyone else gets to. Not even Simon.

    He seems to understand whatever it is I’m trying to tell him. Instead of saying anything he slides his hand up my arm and holds on tightly to the crook of my elbow. We’re pulling into Watford now. It feels strange to be here on Christmas. The car park is startlingly empty and the perfect layer of snow is a stark contrast to the normally green and tredden lawn.

Simon

    Baz and I climb out of the car in silence. He’s not okay, I know it. Before last night I’ve never seen him emotional. Before now I’ve never heard his voice falter. I open my mouth to say something. Just to break the silence, but one look at Baz tells me that’s not a good idea. We pull our bags from the boot and I’m at a loss for what to do. I almost start to follow Baz to his dorm out of habit. Then I remember that I have my own room. I’m not really sure what we are at the moment. Well we are soulmates. I know that now. We’re snogging, that’s new too. Boyfriends? I don’t know. It’s been one night. And a month or so of a lot of things, a lot of feelings on my end anyway. I’m still following Baz, mostly because I think I want to. I want to be with him right now. I want to know that no one is hurting him. Even though there’s no one here right now.

   
    I follow Baz into his room and he doesn’t stop me. He’s been uncomfortably silent since we parked. I should be used to Baz being uncomfortably silent. We lived like this all year last year, we had the whole song and dance worked out. Though I guess that was more an art of avoiding each other, not sticking to each other like glue but still not talking. We set down on his bed without bothering to unpack. The air is heavy with all the tension. I want to say something so badly. I want to kiss him, to assure him that it’ll be fine. I don’t. I don’t want to push him. I know I’m the one who’d lose my temper and sort of go off last year, but Baz could be unpredictable too. I’m afraid if I say the wrong thing he’ll be back on the offensive just like that.

I find my eyes wandering down to Baz’s arm. His sleeve is rolled up, showing the faded writing that mirrors my own. It’s comforting. Baz has known all week, I’m still a little frustrated that he didn’t tell me sooner. But I get it. I’m not sure that I would’ve told him right off the bat if the tables were turned. I know I wouldn’t have told him last year. Baz is my soulmate. I take a moment to enjoy that thought. It’s not something I ever thought I would want. I never thought I would want Baz. Now the thought of hating him seems like a distant event. It feels like a seperate lifetime. I guess I didn’t totally hate him, I think I misunderstood a lot of things last year. I misunderstood Baz, that’s for sure. I’m pretty sure I mistook a lot of my feelings for jealousy. I’ve never been good at reading people, that includes myself.

Baz shifts ever so slightly and I catch his eyes. They narrow momentarily, but not into a glare. He looks thoughtful, almost cat-like.
“You didn’t have to come with me, you know,” he says.
“I can leave if you want.”
“No,” the desperation seeps into his voice and he curses himself. I smile at him and he glares at me for it. The annoyance in his face quickly disappears as I take his hands. Typical. So far, every time I lean into Baz he loses that stoic facade. I inch towards his face and he closes his eyes. I stop, just before I can reach his lips and press my forehead into Baz’s.
“Are you okay?” I ask. Baz squeezes his eyes shut and snakes his arms around my waist.
“It hasn’t been the best Christmas ever,” he laughs and it’s one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard. My grip tightens around his arms and I knock my head against his.
“I’m gonna beat the shit out of your father next time I see him.” 
“Crowley Snow, don’t make it worse,” Baz laughs again.
“Maybe your bitch aunt Fiona will take care of him,” I muse, “She’s supportive right? You’re close, yeah?” Baz nods into my forehead. He’s smiling now and grabbing at the loose fabric at my waist, trying to get me closer.
“Just kiss me already you moron.” I do.