Rhythm of Life (Varduzco Series #1)

Twenty-fifth Rhythm

Twenty-fifth Rhythm

Record

"RHY, TAKE a rest," ani Ranger pagkarating namin sa aking silid. Hindi ako makapagsalita dahil iniisip ko pa rin 'yong narinig ko kanina.

Sniper is still in love with Shelana and I feel like slowly getting hurt inside. I badly want to deny this feelings for him- this kind of feeling that I started to felt every time we're alone together. Sa tuwing nararamdaman kong nabubuo ako, sa tuwing nandiyan siya ay iba talaga ang dating sa akin.

Mas tumindi ang nararamdaman kong 'to noong gabing nasa fourth floor kami. When Sniper pulled me for a hug, I'm already aware about what to feel next. In that moment, he completely built the broken rhythms of my life from the past. He showed me a better world- a better perspective that no one has taught me yet.

Nagyuko ako ng tingin. Gustong-gusto kong itanggi pero hindi ko magawa! Mas mahirap itong itago dahil isang banggit lang ng pangalan niya ay nanghihina na kaagad ako. Ganito pala ang pakiramdam kapag hindi ka gusto nang taong gusto mo.

Ang sakit pala...

"Rhy, why are you crying?" Ranger suddenly asked.

I unconsciously wiped away my tears as I shook my head. "P-Pagod lang..."

I don't think Ranger will buy that reason but I couldn't think of anything. Nabablanko ako, hindi ko talaga matanggap na nasasaktan ako dahil sa nakita at narinig ko.

"You like Sniper," may diin at siguradong sabi niya. Nag-angat ako ng tingin at doon ko nakita ang panlalabo ng kaniyang mga mata.

Hindi ako nakasagot. I'm not sure if I could give him an answer towards my feelings for Sniper. But one thing's for sure, this kind of feeling is absolute.

"H-How can you say that?" napatanong ko.

"Through your eyes." he smiled a bit. "Your eyes speak volumes to me in unsaid words. Halata sa mga matang 'yan na nasasaktan ka at hindi mo gusto ang nangyayari ngayon."

Mapait ang naging ngiti ni Ranger bago niya ginulo ang kaniyang buhok. Malalim ang pinakawalan niyang hininga at kasabay no'n ang pagtingala ng kaniyang ulo.

"Why does it have to be him?" mahinang tanong niya sa akin.

Wala akong naisagot dahil kahit ako ay hindi alam ang dapat na isagot sa tanong na 'yan.

May rason ba talaga kaya tayo nahuhulog sa isang tao? Is there any specific reason that could explain why do we have this kind of feelings for someone? Kasi sa kaso ko, kusa ko lang itong naramdaman. Hindi ko ginusto, hindi ko pinilit, sadyang nangyari lang talaga.

Maybe I was really into the fact that he was able to make me feel happy for being me. He accepted my flaws, he understand me better than myself, and he listened to my silence as if his heart could get the message of those unsaid feelings from me.

It's not easy to have this kind of feeling, because words left unsaid are worse. And we wear them like weights around our hearts. Mabigat at nakakapanghina.

"Hindi ba pwedeng ako na lang?" pagkatanong nito ni Ranger ay nagtama ang tingin naming dalawa. Halos lamunin ako ng pait at sakit na mababasa ko sa kaniyang mga mata ngayon. Hindi ko akalain na darating ang araw na 'to, na makikita kong ganito si Ranger.

Are you happy with this, Rhy? Are you happy that someone is hurting inside because of your selfishness?

I bit my lower lip. "I'm sorry..."

Matapos kong sabihin 'yon ay wala na siyang sinabi pa. Lumabas na lang siya ng aking silid at iniwanan akong mag-isa. Mapait akong napangiti dahil sa nangyari.