Memoirs of A Shinja: When My Future Unloved My Past

Hatredness

For my past weeks, I was so busy on my office work… from marketing to legal documentation, etc. just whatever esp. if my 3 bosses gave me several task in a synchronizing way that makes me damn pressured but I survived to handle it and even I watched His Excellency Demon Kogure’s solo Visual Records of Doctrines, I kept thinking about work.

Then, the usual ordinary human sent a message to my mom’s Facebook which I opened and read it!

If she said how scary for what I’m doing and writing on this blog… why didn’t she think about herself for what had she done to me… why? She’s the one who started it all. I was happily contented with this Danish rock band even I started listening to Demon as in I’m not yet fully-pledged Shinja but when she came to my life, half of my life as in everything went ruined!

Worse and sadly… she kept judging on Demon’s demonic traits as in she didn’t know everything about him so, just try to widen her mind before continue to do this and when she said, “sayang bata pa naman” or anything else that makes her saddened which my life continues to get wasted, I’m even more upset as she didn’t make an apology at all for making those things miserable and why doesn’t she realized the cause of this…  If my mom find out, all of my Demon’s stuffs might be damaged and destroyed even I might get beaten which I usually experienced because of other bastards for the last a decade so, she keeps my life running… and where’s the freedom of expression which some Danish usually do like 4 years ago so, I guess she’s GUILTY so, if she wants a war, I’ll give her a war! A Shinja has no reason to get intimidated by narrow-minded ordinary humans. As Yoshinatsu said before, I should never treat like that if I’m Catholic. I don’t have enough freedom yet!

When I find out that she’s the aunt of one of my High School batchmates, I wasn’t surprised… like aunt, like nephew! I never forget for what this guy did to me 11 years ago.

Anyway, I’m not the only one who against the Catholic religion… my first flame’s dad, who is a lawyer, had the same overview as mine even we expressed different opinions yet, I agreed on his words.

Again, if she’s afraid on my word as well as my mouth, she really must… she’s the one who started it all so, I won’t lose this battle and I don’t wanna let myself get bullied and make fun from other people… if they keep ruining my life, I’ll make their life ruining, too!

I was about to decrease my hatredness but this kinda stressful situation makes me more difficult to move on and yet, I won’t let myself get controlled by anyone else. I don’t wanna let them be a winner. They’re more demonic and evil than the real Akuma like Demon.

Well, I should follow his dad’s and Demon’s doctrines… this would make myself stronger and writing this blog is my biggest way to fought back… expressing my real me without knowing who really I am! If someone sent me a threatening message then, guilty for what they’ve done…

My hatredness towards my HS batchmates became deeper and deeper thanks to aunt-nephew tandem… esp. the nephew one who was one of the reason why I was almost to kicked-out.

And my life with Danish rock band and Demon are meant to be more meaningful if she didn’t came to my life and send a message that would ruin everything!

Thanks to his dad… he makes my heart and principles became closer and closer to Demon esp. the last time we talked about it!

As a fellow Shinja said… “WELCOME TO HELL!!!”

So, as Demon said… “DON’T RELY ON GOD… ASK YOUR HEART!”

That's why I'm Charlie Kogure....