Fascinating Lights ( A Michael Jackson Fanfiction)

Taste Of Regret

The time flew by and Martin was at his third beer already, Frank also was very light headed at this time.
I finished my gin tonic, turned on my stool and looked around.
Tiffany was on the pole now. She knows how to work her body just with the right moves.
"Aren't you going anywhere but this stool Michael?", Martin asked, the words he spoke blabbered like a dripping water tap.
"Well, I don't think you should be going anywhere but home Martin, you're already drunk", I told him, shooting a glare.
"I am not", he pointed his fingers towards me, smirking this slimy expression.

I rolled my eyes, paying my attention back to Tiffany who was at her last piece of clothes right now. The men that sat and stood right before the stage were desperately in need of to see if she is undressing the last garment of hers or not.
And to our all surprise - she did.
I quickly put my fingers between my lips and blew a loud whistle at her as she let her slip hitting the floor.
She smiled heavy, grabbing the dollars from off the floor and walked back to the backstage area. The curtain closed and the DJ started playing some bumping songs for break before the next girl entered the stage, amazing us with another great performance.

"You two excuse me for a while", I told them taking one vodka shot from Martins side, pouring it down.
Valerie walked by.
I was in need of something and I knew she was the right one to get it from.

"Good evening Mr. Jackson", she softly spoke, lowering her sight.
I gently grabbed her chin, rubbing my thumb across her skin.
"Hello Valerie", I smiled at her as she looked the other way, avoiding eyecontact.
"Oh, you're very shy today, aren't you?", I said, slightly tighening my grip on her chin, making her look at me.
"Tonight I'm only here for serving drinks, Mr. Jackson", she spoke.
"Well, just a quicky, don't worry, nothing rough today", I smirked at her, looking up and down her well formed body.
What man could resist her bambi eyes, her long curled ebony hair with light blonde highlights here and there that perfectly ended right on the middle of her back.
Her light brown skin tone that was barely visible in winter days but shone so bright when summer set in.
Her lovely plump lips that she always covers with a great velvet red tone, fitting her face and making her teeth more white when she smiles.
"You look gorgeous today", I admitted, feeling myself getting solid by only seeing her standing in front of me.
"I will pay you extra good, come on".
She closed her eyes for a few seconds, then walking over to the bar and set down her drinks covered tablet.
She was calling Anastacia who was busy pouring drinks and mixing cocktails.
Shortly after, she waved at me, letting me know that I should follow her.

Amanda's P.O.V

Turning myself over and over again in this large and empty bed. I groaned rolling my eyes so hard that it hurt.
Why can't I fall asleep. Damn.
After a few other turning overs I pushed the cover away and lifted myself up.
Staring into the blackness of the night that filled the room I exhaled the sticky air in my lungs.
I got up and touched my way down to the kitchen. I noticed a headache coming up so I resigned switching on the lights.
I lit up a candle that was set on the kitchen counter, brewing myself a relax tea.

Rubbing my temples, slowly adding a little more pressure trying to get rid of this heavy bumping inside my head.
I probably haven't drank enough water, or the air in the bedroom is just too used for sleeping peacefully.
My stomach was in need of some sweets so I openend the fridge grabbing a bunch of chocolate rolls and the last piece of cake that was in there already for one or two days.
Actually I prominsed myself for not eating so much sweets until the wedding is over.
'You simply can't eat this stuff at night, the amount of calories will settle in', I thought.
I stopped right before I closed the fridge, looking at the piece of strawberry cheesecake that was covered with milky chocolate and some strawberry slices above it.
'Do I really need this right now?', I asked myself.
Well one or two bites won't be that bad, I shrug with my shoulders and sat myself on the stool. 

I ended up eating the cake and all the chocolate rolls. I simply couldn't resist the vanilla flavour that came along with them.
I immediatelly regretted my decision for eating it all. I have problems with this since I hit puberty back then.
Food was always some kind of enemy and friend in one.
I need to eat something before I pass out but on the other hand, isn't it better to drink a few glasses of water instead of eating? - because that won't affect the look of my body that much, no bloated stomach, no extra calories, simply nothing to worry in this moment.
This horrible question and conflict with my body and my mind is hunting me for over forteen years now. I have never been to therapy and since I became a therapist myself I didn't saw the importance in it.
I got used to this feeling of hunger and regret, but it didn't got better as I met Michael, I surely wanted to look good for him, all time, and in my opinion it was only possible if I keep an eye on my food, deciding if it is essential to eat or just for another glas of water.