Losing Control

Chapter 8: One time thing

Previously...

It hurt so much. So he did the only thing that he knew could help him get used to the pain.

That was the worse night that Felix ever experienced. He ended up falling asleep on the cold wooden floor. With tears staining his cheeks. His wrist hurt badly.

Not because of the deathening grip that Jason had on it but instead because of the new cuts which were upon it. This time Felix couldn't help it.

For some reason he felt that he was being stupid. Boys shouldn't cry over things like this. That's how his mum brought him up. So he needed to give himself a real reason to cry.

And the new cuts off skin which lay on his wrist were just that.

A true reason to feel the way he did.

He didn't want to admit the truth. The truth was that he couldn't live without Jason.

His whole life revolved around him and everytime he left he'd feel a void in himself. He didn't know how to describe the feeling but it was the worst.

Nothing he could do could rid himself of him. No matter what bad Jason did to him. It seemed like Felix would go straight back to him and that's what he refused to accept.

That sunday, felix took the time to relax. He needed it. He ran himself a hot bath and spent half the day in it while reading a book. He also got around to doing all his homework.

He was ok.

Jason didn't contact Felix after what went down. The guilt began to eat him inside out. He craved Felix's presence and it took everything in him to not rush to his house again.

Recently he's been noticing how he'd been unable to control his actions as well as his emotions. He felt like he was always all over the palce and it was beginning to negatively affect one of his most pized friendships.

He was completely perplexed and didn't know what to do. The only solution he thought of was asking his dad but Jason didn't like talking to his dad to begin with.

He blamed him for the disappearance of his mother and he understood that his dad did try to mend their relationship but that didn't last long as talk of the company that he had to take over would always come up.

And he hated it. More than anything. It was like a weight on his chest. Thinking and witnessing the things he'd have to do. The pain he'd have to inflict.

He'd hate to go through that. Again.

.....

On Monday morning felix was feeling way better than the day before. After what he did to himself, while looking at the mirror he promised that he'd never do anything like that again.

The school day began as normal as it could be without Jason. This day they did have lessons together and everytime felix thought of it he began to shake. He didn't know how he should act around Jason knowing what he did to him just two days ago. He needed more time away from him.

As he walked through the halls filled with huge students he again bumped into someone. This time he was more afraid than before because at that time he had Jason but now he was really on his own.

He slowly turned to see who he bumped into. It was a girl. She was the same size as him which shocked him as he was always thinner than most of the girls in the school making him look even snaller than them.

He tilted his head for a second observing her as she bent down. He didn't recognise her at all. He snapped out of his trance once he saw that she was picking up books that had fallen.

The second he noticed, he was by her side helping her pick up her belonggings.

"Sorry." Felix muttered passing all her books and papers to her. But he paused once he caught sight of a drawing which was hidden in her notebook. He took it out and observed it.

"W...Wow!" Felix shouted. The girls eyes went to his in suprise.

"These are really good." Felix said truthfully.

The drawings were. They were intricate designs with swirls and curves everywhere. This indeed was magic. Just the magic he needed.

It caught felix's attention immediately. He then heard the girl shuffling beside him as she took out a notebook.

She wrote down on it and felix immediately understood.

Im new here and I'm a selective mute. I assume you don't know sign language  so I use this notebook to communicate. Thank you.

As Felix read the words a small smile graced his lips. He actually had an uncle which was mute and learnt sign language just for him.

You assume way to quick. Felix signed. What's your name?

The girls features lifted in suprise. Nobody in the school knew sign language so she always used the notebook yet nobody was ever willing to wait for her.

Rebecca. And you don't have to compliment my drawings to make me feel better. She signed back with a huge smile in her face.

Are you kidding they're amazing. What class do you have next? Felix felt a connection with her and felt that they could've had a beautiful relationship.

Rebecca simply slided her router to him as he scanned through it. His face brightened even further as he saw he had the same lesson as her.

We have the same lesson. Should we go together?

Of course. Rebecca signed back and they both stood up and began walking towards the class.

During their walk Felix signed, Can I give you a nickname?

What are you thinking. Normally people just call me becky. Rebecca said while shrugging her shoulders.

I'll give you something different then. What about, Eb? Felix asked.

Rebecca smiled at him. This was certainly different but she was happy and liked the name.

Perfect.

Just like that the two formed an unbreakable bond.