Losing Control

Chapter 21: Promises

Previously...

While driving off however he noticed some movement at the end of the corridor. He instantly recognised the face. Felix. He didn't know whether Felix could see him or not but by the way Felix's eyes widened and lips were left agape he felt he did.

"that's the truth." Jason ended staring into Felix's eyes looking desperately for his response. He saw nothing.

The room was silent for a good minute. And the dullness of everything began to settle in again. Felix who was Jason's light in the world was beginning to flicker and Jason was terrified he would turn off.

He moved closer to the smaller boy seated on his bed and held his hand hoping for him to forgive him.

Forgive him for being part of this. For being involved in this dark world and being surrounded by all this dark people.

Felix finally moved and looked into Jason's eyes. "What did you do to Max?" he asked his voice flat.

Felix didn't know what to expect his head was empty of thoughts and he wasn't sure how to process everything that he just heard. Half of him wanted to run out of the room as far away as possible and the other side just couldn't find it within himself to leave.

So, he just stayed staring at his friend who he just came to learn he knew nothing about.

"I ordered him to be killed." Jason said.

This was the truth and if he was going to come out to Felix, he might of as well came out with the whole truth.

The cold-hearted truth.

Felix pulled his hands and took them out of Jason's, as his head sunk down facing the ground. His voice quivered as he spoke, "Why?" Felix's voice was low.

It was as if he was asking all these questions, he didn't want to know the answer to. It was true, that Philip was right he felt he should've listened more.

"I did it because I'm obsessed with you." Jason said.

He lifted Felix chin with his hand, so they were directly facing each other. "I hate it when other guys touch you. I can't help but want to end them right there and then" Jason said gazing into Felix's eyes.

Felix was overwhelmed with the confession. His heart was rapidly beating, and he was frozen in his seat.

Jason felt so strongly towards him enough for him to go out of his way and have someone killed. The evil that lurked in Jason, which was once hidden, was revealed to Felix and he could see every inch of it.

Now was the moment when he made the decision whether to accept this part of him or not.

Felix got up, his eyes trained on the door. He walked towards his suitcase grabbing it to leave but was stopped.

Jason wrapped his arms around Felix's torso restricting him from any movement. It was a hard grab and it didn't hurt.

Felix could tell that at that moment Jason was paining just like he was. At this exact moment Jason was beyond desperate.

Desperate for the acceptance of the one person who he couldn't be without. He'd finally shown his true colours and now he was to face the consequences.

The room was quiet, and Jason just embraced Felix in his arms. "Remember your promise." Jason said his voice muffled.

Jason's head was buried into Felix's neck breathing in his scent as his arms slightly tightened around Felix's waist. He didn't know why but he favoured the position. It was so warm to him and Felix always seemed to omit an addictive smell which was strongest in his neck area.

He continued, "That morning when me and Philip fought, in the car. You remember right?" Jason said trying his best to spark the memory into Felix's heads.

It was enough.

"In fact if you hate it that much then promise to help you and we can get through this together. " I finally said looking up at him in the car.

"Tell me you won't go back on your promise. please" Jason pleaded. After remembering what he said, Felix took a second to rethink his actions.

He couldn't do it.

He couldn't leave.

This man who was behind him holding him so tenderly like he was a glass cup.

He couldn't abandon him.

Especially not now.

It was getting worse for him and he didn't know who he'd turn to if he left.  Felix eased out of Jason's hold and turned around to face him.

The tears which were once on his cheek had soon left and dried up on his face. His cheeks were slightly red from all the emotions he experienced just that morning.

He searched Jason's eyes for any trace of deception.

There wasn't one.

This was as real as it gets. The most authentic Jason was standing in front of him. Naked baring himself to him. And Felix but embraced Jason in a hug.

At first Jason as surprised and so was Felix. But he relaxed into it. Their hearts slowed down synching into a calm beat. The two lonely souls wrapped around each other.

"I promise." Felix's small voice came from Jason's chest as he muttered the words which were swirly around his head. Nobody moved. There was nothing to understand.

Jason pulled back a bit before engulfing Felix in determined kiss. the boys connected once more with Jason's tongue swirling into ever corner and crevice of Felix's mouth which willingly allowed him to.

They kissed for minutes before pulling away from each other. Jason walked towards his bed before inviting Felix.

"Come. Sleep with me." Jason said before undressing himself down to his boxers. Felix turned away in embarrassment. "You don't have to change if you don't want to." Jason's said noticing this.

He knew how shy Felix could be. Felix nodded and joined Jason in the bed as he suggested. They ended up snuggling into each other's arm. Felix was beyond happy he kept on going through the things that happened today and would always finish with the fact that he promised Jason at he wouldn't leave him.

Next to him however, Jason was having a argument in is heads. His dad's words were resonating through his head.

The things he's done. Now that Felix knew about it that wouldn't excuse the harm, he could do to him in the future.

The only supposed solution was his uncle all the way in Detroit.