Stay- Book One The Full Circle

Unannounced Visitor

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Chapter 16
Unannounced Visitor

Adult content readers advised

Maggie

Zoe doesn't need to see her mother behave this way. No child should go through the things Adrienne is putting her through. I won't be responsible for that. Leaving, removing myself from the situation saves both of us. If I could just breathe again, stumbling slight I try to right myself so I can get home and think clearly. My chest hurts and I'm struggling to get air. My eyes are blurry, vision graying. Beads of sweat are rolling down my spine, popping up on my forehead. It's hitting too fast.

"Maggie! Wait!" Lily comes running after me. Out of breath as she slowed her pace down to match with mine.

Guilt filled me. She's my best friend and I left her behind in my wake to run away. I should have waited for her. I wasn't thinking. I just wanted to escape. I don't like confrontations, I've spent most of my life being confronted by my mother and being treated like I was worthless, useless to her. I don't handle it well, so I panicked with Adrienne and ran. It was a mistake but I can't change the way I ran now. I've tried for years to overcome my panic attacks, nothing ever works. At least this one was mild and I escaped with minimal damage. I just hope Zoe didn't hear anything that would hurt her.

"Maggie? God, you're so pale. And you're sweating, you've got goosebumps! Shit, you're sick, are you alright?" Lily loops her arm in mine and supports me while I continue to struggle to get my breath. "Look at me Mags, come on girl, get a grip on yourself. Breathe."

In and out, air in, air out. Too fast, I can't slow it down. Lily starts breathing with me. Watching her, watching me she helps me slow it down. I focus on the air coming into my lungs then back out. The rush of blood in my ears quiets down as my breathing slows. I'm better, shaking still but better.

"I'm okay, cold, sweaty, sick to my stomach still and I just need to breathe." I stop and bend over. Resting my hands on my knees, I take several long long slow breaths. God, this sucks.

"Panic attack? Maggie, she's not worth your energy. That chick is a bitch and Trent... well he shouldn't have kissed her. That was wrong on so many levels. I let him know that too. Gave him a good slap in the face and a piece of my mind for it." Lily rubs my back as I get slowly back to some semblance of normal breathing to return.

Looking up at her I let out a loose watery laugh. The tears burn my eyes as I work to hold myself together. "It's not Trent's fault. He was focused on Zoe and we distracted him. He told me Adrienne does this. She sneaks up on people and takes advantage of them. We distracted him and pissed her off."

"Because Trent doesn't want her, he wants you." Lily put it together slowly and slaps her palm to her forehead. "And I slapped him for it. Shit, Mags I'm sorry, I should've known that. I saw the way he looked at you this morning and I knew it but... ooohh that scheming woman used him!"

I know how she feels. Getting drawn into someone else's drama and playing a part you didn't mean to play has been my life for years. My mother was... is the queen of making me the reason for all the misery in her life. I've shouldered that load since I was a child. My sister was perfect, smart, beautiful, talented, and successful. I was troubled, useless, a waste of her time and money. She made sure to drill that into my head every chance she got.

When Beth died, I was all my mother had and I still wasn't good enough. I'm still compared to a ghost and I don't measure up to her memory. It's no wonder I fell for Parker and his lies. Someone who showed the slightest interest in me and made me think I was special, even for a brief moment, only to turn it around and make me want to change everything about myself just to keep him. Just so I wasn't so alone.