Charlie's

Chapter 37

BPOV

Laying in bed the next morning, my eyes were still puffy from crying the night before, I could feel the tears fill my eyes again when I noticed it didn't look like Edward came to bed last night. I know after everything he said to me last night, I really fucked up...not just a little...majorly fucked up, all because of me and my mouth...I tend to speak before my brain engages with my mouth. I know he knows I just wanted help...and I did, I was only thinking of him...I just didn't know how to fix this..or even if I should...Would it be better if I wasn't in his world...where I could show him up a mess with his dealings?

Maybe be I should go home...or find somewhere to stay for a few days and let him calm down?...I know he was angry I could see it in his eyes...he got through to me though, if he'd of started shouting at me it would have turned into a massive argument I'm sure...No, he actually spoke to me somewhat calmly...but I could see the anger barely restrained under the surface...and it killed me that I was the one to make him like that. I seriously didn't know where to go from here maybe I'll be walking around on egg shells for the next few days. If he's calmed down...maybe I should ask him if he wants me to disappear for a few days.

I decided to get up and shower and wash yesterdays grime away, I had to change my bandage, it needed looking at as I didn't manage to get anyone to look at it yesterday, I did clean it at the bar before I started working, I was hoping that it's scabbed over. I pushed the quilt back, got out of bed and made my way to the shower, Edwards dressing gown was still in there..I'd use that as my bag was still in the car..I didn't bring it in to be honest I didn't think I'd be staying, I figured I'd be to pissed at him and just leave once he'd finished talking...yeah that happened I thought sarcastically.

Turning the shower to heat up while I stripped my clothes, I didn't put them in the hamper this time, I folded them and put them on the counter, I wasn't sure how long I'd be here so I'd keep my stuff together. I walked through the glass doors leading to the shower and closed it behind me, I could barely see anything in front of me due to the steam being released from the shower, I knew it was gonna be hot and that's what I needed. I could feel the water raining down onto my skin and finally let out a sigh as my muscles started to relax and unwind..I literally felt myself sag against the wall with the weight of what I'd done crashed all over me like a tidal wave. The tears were rolling down my cheeks again...I'd really fucked up this time...I never fucking listen.

I felt an arm around my waist, I jumped but I knew who it was, so I slumped against his chest and sobbed. I held him so tight as though somehow I thought he was gonna disappear on me. I didn't want that to happen...as independent as I am..I needed him like I needed fucking air...when did this shit happen?

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry Edward, I didn't mean it..I swear." I sobbed into him, I felt him pull me into a tighter embrace. He didn't say a word, just held me and let me cry...I was sure he was gonna ask me to leave...I mean he wasn't saying anything. I looked up from his chest to get a good look at him, he looked just as bad as I did. The circles under his eyes told me he had slept very little or none at all, his eyes were dull and sad...not sparkle in them what's so ever...I could feel my face crumble again...I'd done that to him. "I'm so sorry" I whimpered.

"I know Princess" He said, I heard his voice croak as he pulled me back to him.

"How can I fix this?...I'll do it anything I swear" I said. "I'll even shut up in public" I meant it to, I didn't wanna lose him because I couldn't control what came out my mouth.

"Bella, I don't want that from you...that's not who you are, I love your mouth and quick wit...I just wanna ask that you keep it fucking shut around business associates..that's all...there's a time and a place, I'm not asking you to change who you are OK...I happen to love that person...you just gotta cool it now and then" He said in a gritty sounding tone.