my (cringe????) hq one shots ♡

hold you again . miya atsumu

WORD COUNT/ 2278
NOTES/ tw;; tsumu yells at reader which causes an anxiety attack,,, mentions of a past abusive relationship

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"then what's the fuckin' problem?!" atsumu yelled, throwing his arms in the air as he glared at you with a fire in his eyes. he was close to letting loose, almost at the brink of slamming his fists somewhere to try and rid at least some of his anger physically as words couldn't project all that he was feeling. he needed to release the pent up rage but he knew that if he did, he would scare you and preventing that was much more important to him than anything else. though, with the volume of his voice, he already knew damage was done.

he saw you flinch, the way your knees shook and how you stumbled back as if you were about to run away. your expression twisted, tears already rolling down your cheeks and your lips quivering in fear. the fear in your eyes was something he's never see before but he knew it may have been a familiar gloss to someone else. he promised himself to never be the one to make you feel that way ever again. he promised that no matter what the situation, he would never scare you or even think about mimicking anything you've experienced. he wanted to be your knight in shining armour, some sort of saviour, but not everyone was perfect and he wished you understood.

"i-i don't kn-know!" you managed to choke out, shaky hands covering your mouth as you tried to muffle your sobs. you were scared to make him even angerier with your crying, knowing that your emotional breakdown was the reason this fight began in the first place. it wasn't your intention to have a bad day the same time he did. it wasn't your intention to feel like the worst person alive the same day he did. it wasn't your intention to bring him down at all or make his day even worse. "i don'tㅡ i d-don't know!"

"babyㅡ" atsumu sighed out, running both his hands through his hair and clutching fistfuls. his voice was much quieter than before but it didn't do anything as he could see ㅡ feel ㅡ that what he yelled at you was replaying in your head like a broken record. he wanted to take you in his arms but he knew he couldn't just put his hands on you. "baby i'm so sorry i didn'tㅡ" he took a step forward and you took one back, almost stumbling over your own feet. his breath hitched and his heart missed a beat.

"d-don'tㅡ" you whimpered, holding your arms out to stop him. he was meters away yet he could still see the shaking of your body, hear the unevenness of your breathing, feel the way your heart had been broken by him. "please don-don'tㅡ"

he could only nod, bringing his hands to his side and remaining steady. he had to show you he wasn't going to do anything and listened to what you could muster out in your state of panic. he had to work with you and let you calm yourself down because he knew that he couldn't help the way he wanted to. so he stayed still, watching you closely with concern reaching every corner of his body, then watched you turn and run away to hide.

you had fallen once and his instinct was to run to you but he bit his lip and clenched his fists to keep himself steady. it hurt him to see just how capable you were in a time like this. how many times did you have to go through an anxiety attack alone? how many times did you feel like nobody cared? how many times did you have to pick yourself up because gentle hands couldn't? he wanted nothing more than to hold you and tell you he didn't mean to yell. he didn't mean to get upset. he didn't mean to make you feel worse. he didn't mean to make you cry.

he wanted to tell you that he loves you to all the stars and back, that you mean the world to him and that there was nothing in the entire universe that could make him want to leave you. you are his forever and seeing you scared, fall and have to pick yourself up because you felt like he might end up hurting you, it broke his heart.

once you were out of sight, probably hiding in the bathroom or the bedroom you two shared, he let his legs give out and dropped to his knees. his breathing became uneven as tears streamed down his cheeks.