Some Kind Of Wonderful (a yoonmin fan fiction ) Mature content

Chapter Eighteen.

Jimin's head was in a spin as he watched his best friend disappear into the dark.  He sat down on the back porch of his house with only the glow of the old cracked light that flickered above his head.  What the hell had happened tonight? He'd basically had his first real passionate kiss and sexual encounter with his best friend.  To say he was freaked out was an understatement, but how did Yoongi feel? he's seemed nonchalant as if it was no big deal, and Jimin had wanted his help right? 

 He traced his fingers over his kiss swollen lips and couldn't help but close his eyes and replay the sensation over in his mind.  It made him feel light and giddy and sent strange tingles towards his lower region.  Yoongi was experienced and confident, he confided in Jimin about things he'd done in the past and even the time he gave some old dude a hand job when they were really short of money.  Sex to Yoongi was just that and nothing more, but his face this evening when he left was something Jimin couldn't put his finger on.   There was a tenderness in the way he'd held Jimin's hand, the way he's stared into his eyes a moment longer than the laws of best friendship allowed.  Jimin knew Yoongi acted all tough most of the time, but he was the only one he let his guard down with, it had always been them against the world and Jungkook coming into the mix had obviously freaked Yoongi out, that was the only explanation he could muster up.  

He sighed deeply feeling the chill in the air and decided that a good nights sleep would help him clear his fogged up brain, proceeding to make his way quietly inside so as not to have to explain his mussed up hair or swollen lips.  Crawling into bed he quickly sent Yoongi a text, immediately feeling weird once he'd sent it.  

JIMINIE

 Hey, U get home ok?....

                                                                         YOONGS

                                                                          What are u, my mom? Sleep JM, stop  overthinking..               

Jimin  smiled loving Yoongi's sass, and the way he knew him so well and snuggled down under his blankets with many thoughts on his mind.  Over on the far side of town Yoongi sighed as he tossed the mobile onto his bed.  He sat on the floor of his pokey room in the tin box staring at the peeling paper, the unmade bed and the clothes strewn around the floor.  What would Jimin ever see in him romantically? he was a loser, a good for nothing who didn't deserve such a pure, untatinted soul. 

 He closed his eyes taking in a deep inhale on his cigarette, visions of Jimins thick lips around his cock coming into view and Jesus if it wasn't the best thing that had ever happened in his life.  He felt his cock twitch in his tight jeans as he palmed himself lightly.  What had he done tonight? he'd opened Pandora's box and had a taste of the forbidden fruit that wasn't supposed to be his to taste.  Now he couldn't go back, he thought he'd be fine, that he could handle it, what a fool he was he laughed dryly to himself as he felt his eyes start to tear up.    

Jungkook had been out for a nice family meal with his parents and hadn't expected the uninvited guest to be lazily sitting deep in thought on his porch swing when they returned.  "Oh Taehyung" exclaimed JK's mom, "Please come in, it's chilly out tonight" she continued as Jungkook looked on wide eyed.  He'd mentioned to his parents that he and Tae were having problems, but hadn't gone further than that.  "Ah, no Mrs Jeon, thankyou.  I just wanted to have a quick chat to Jungkook and then I'll be getting home, it's late and I'm sorry to disturb" Tae said sincerely, bowing to the Jeon's.  

After the Jeon family left the boys to it on the porch an awkward silence crept over them.  Jungkook had still yet to acknowledge his presence keeping his eyes to the floor.  "Hi" said Tae sheepishly, Jungkook looked up expecting to see the cocky smirk that usually plastered his ex boyfriends smug face, but was a little surprised to see vulnerability pooling in his deep brown eyes.  He looked pale like he hadn't been taking care of himself, and there was some stubble growth on his chin which Jungkook couldn't help but want to run his fingers across. 

"What do you want Tae?" Jungkook spat, a little harsher than he'd meant, he was berating himself for almost melting into Tae, his undeniable aura lulling him back in.  Tae appeared nervous now, as if he didn't even know why he was sitting on Jungkook's porch at such an ungodly hour.  "I..I'm not entirely sure if i'm honest" he stuttered,  "I was out walking and my feet seemed to bring me here, force of habit i guess" he shrugged with a sad, dry chuckle.  "I just wanted to see how you are, to apologise, and don't worry, I know it's over between us.  I fucked up, I know that, but i hope one day when this isn't so painful for us both we can maybe be friends, o-or maybe try again?", he breathed nervously "I'm trying so hard to change Kook, for you i'll change".

Jungkook was on the edge of tears as he took in the boy in front of him, he'd never seen him look so young, so wretched.  He took a deep shakey breath keeping as much cool as he could muster "Yes, you hurt me Tae, I gave you chance after chance, but you never truly let me in.  I was a toy for you and I deserved better than that".  Tae nodded in agreement "you're right" he whispered looking into Jungkook's eyes, his own becoming fogged up by unshed tears.  "I never told you how truly fucked up I am Kook".  Jungkook carried on staring not making a sound for fear of breaking the moment.  In the year they had dated, not once had they had such a deep conversation, it had always been about sex and chasing the next high, being the top dog and ruling the school.

The boy standing in front of him was none of those things, and he was either a damn good actor, or his fucked up wounds ran so much deeper than Jungkook could have ever have imagined.  "How fucked up are you?" Jungkook choked out after a while, he didn't even know why he was entertaining the conversation, he was supposed to have moved on, he had a half hearted date scheduled for Saturday night for fucks sake.   Tae took a shaky breath and sat down on the porch swing staring at the holes in the knees of his designer jeans, tugging at the small strings of fabric nervously.  

"My parents divorced when I was 7" he started after clearing his throat, Jungkook really seeing him for the first time.  "I was a pawn in their mind games, to the point I tried to take my own life when I reached 10 years old".  Jungkook gasped as Tae took a moment to collect his thoughts to continue.  "Obviously, I didn't succeed, but it got their attention and suddenly I was the one calling the shots" he laughed sardonically, "I played them against each other until it became normal, it became who I am".  He looked up at Jungkook, "I'm a selfish entitled bastard who can't let someone in, money and possession is all I know, people let you down, they all leave" he trailed off.

Tae felt the swing move as Jungkook sat down next to him, looking up into the eyes of the boy he knew he loved, but had hurt so much.  Jungkook took his hand softly "I'm sorry that happened to you" he whispered sincerely, "thankyou for opening up, that must have been hard, and although it's too painful for me right now, I'd like to think we could be friends, I'll never stop loving you...".  Tae nodded, wiping a single tear away that had fallen during their conversation, "I should go" he declared clearing his throat embarrassed, and standing swiftly with a stiff smile, "take care of yourself Kookie, Jimin better look after you" , he said softly caressing Jungkook's cheek.

Jungkook caught his wrist in a light grip as he began to leave, Tae turning as Jungkook stood eye level, both boys looking deeply into each others eyes.  So much pain resided in them, so many words unsaid, "take care of yourself too Tae" whispered Jungkook  enveloping the boy he still loved deeply, maybe even more so after tonight, but was it enough?  How could he guarantee his heart wouldn't be stomped over again.  The boys embraced for what seemed like a long time, their hands rubbing comforting circles on each others backs.  Tae pulled away first and looked like he suddenly remembered something,  "Look, I'm having a party Saturday night, just a get together, come, bring Jimin, no hard feelings yeah? I've nothing against the kid, he likes you, I totally understand that feeling" Tae said, looking expectantly at Jungkook. 

"I dunno Tae, I'd have to speak to Jimin, maybe it'll be a bit too awkward, we'll see yeah?" Said Jungkook unsure of himself all of a sudden.  "Ok Kook, I'll let you get in, it's cold, please sleep well sweetheart" Tae whispered, Jungkook moved away swiftly, letting himself in his house, not turning back as he felt both their hearts crack.  Not even saying goodnight to his parents, he ran straight up to his room and sobbed, he cried for the poor 10 year old Tae and for the man he had grown into because of his fucked up family.  He cried for feeling like a shit person for using the sweet art boy with the cute smile, who he knew he liked, but could never love, as that spot was already firmly taken.