selfish || ryeji

06 ' Starting over

I waited for Yeji inside our shared room. My legs were noodles and I can't barely stand upon realising how much of a fool I've brcome after Jisu told me everything. Yeji wasn't actually obsessed with Jisu.

A while after, the door swung open, revealing a tall, slender girl with cat-like features. Like how I remembered from the first time we met.

"What are you doing here?" she said in a quite shaky voice.

"Did you cry? Where were you?" I was flustered.

"Do you want me to help you pack up?" she asked me back. She don't seem to want me in this room anymore.

"Stop dodging my question, Yeji unnie. I know that you know your friend all this time and you're using her to get someone's attention." she rolled her eyes.

"Tch. After all this time, you finally have the guts to call me 'unnie.' And Yes. Jisu and I have been friends all along. Happy?"

"But . . Why would you need me if you two knew each other? Why would you ask for my help if both of you were friends ever since? Why would you ask for her number if you already had it in the first place. Why would you rent a room with me if—"

"BECAUSE I LIKE YOU, RYUJIN!" she yelled at me as her tears made its way to her rosy cheeks.

"I . . I really like you. More than just a friend. I've always wanted to tell you this, but I don't want to ruin the friendship we had. I did everything I could, but it's no use. Jisu would still be the one in your head and it hurts to know you two are back together,"

"What are you talking about? Jisu and I, we're over. We already settled things out."

"I went outside to look for you. What I found was nothing, but a heartache," she turned her back on me and faced the door.

"I'm sorry if loving you made me a selfish brat. I just thought it's possible for you to love me as much as you love Jisu." she was about to twist the doorknob, but I called her out as soon as possible.

"I don't know how to tell you this because I'm afraid it might be the end of our good acquaintance." I softly said to her.

"I might as well take the risks because it's the only remedy that can unburden this feeling I've kept ever since. More than you will ever guess . . more than you will ever know . .  I need you to know that I appreciate you." I walked towards Yeji and made her face me.

"Hwang Yeji, please don't go." I said and another tear escaped her puffy eyes.

"But–" before she could even finish her sentence, I closed the gap between us and gave her a soft kiss. It lasted for less than a minute, but it felt like a whole year to me. I need Yeji. I need her more than anything else. She may not be my first love, but she's the one who made me see Love in a new perspective.

She gently pushed me away after she had enough. And I continued . .

"Lately, I've been questioning myself about everything. I wasn't sure if I was happy because my ex could finally forget about me; or sad because she's going to end up with someone I love the most," I swallowed the lump in my throat before continuing.

"Turns out, my ex and the one I love already knew each other and they fooled me. Did know how much pain I have to endure everytime I see you with Jisu? Whenever you leave my side every morning to hang out with your friends? Whenever you come home with someone else late at night? You don't know how worried I am that day, unnie."

As much as I don't want to cry, my tears poured out like crazy. Goodness, I'm such a crybaby.

"I hate to see you being bullied by someone who's not me. I need you, Yeji. I need you for me and me only. Please don't leave. I need you." I cried as I held her hand closer to my heart.

"Didn't you say you're going to transfer?"

"I lied. I refused Mr. Park's offer to stay with you. But then you brought Jisu and tore me apart. I was upset. I'm sorry."

She smiled and gave me a big hug. I never thought she'd mean this much to me. Usually, I would reject all the affection I receive from everyone, but look where we are now. She looked at me and wiped her tears away and so did I.

"What about Jisu? Didn't you told her that you like her?"

"When did I say that?"

"A while ago, while you were talking at the hallway." she heard?

"Oh. I just told her that I like her . . But no longer as much as I love you. She's seeing someone else. I thought you already knew since she's your friend."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot." She chuckled at her realization and I did nothing but to let out a laugh as well. Her laugh was contagious and I'm not even complaining.

"So . . Uhm . . Then, would you mind if I . . ?" She sound quite hesitant of what she wanted to say, so I waited patiently.

"Would you mind if I start to court you from now on?" I smiled.

"No,"

"No?"

"Because I want me to be the one courting you."

"But that's not fair. I'm older than you," "Are you underestimating me again?"

"Oh my . ." We shared a good laugh that night. Both of us agreed to just court each other, whatsoever. We'll both end up being together eitherway, but we decided to take it slow.

Everyday, one of us would often wait for the other in front of our school building. Since then, my roommate, Hwang Yeji and I have never been this peaceful towards each other.