I Love You

nine

Billie was pretty busy during the DC stop in her promotional tour, we didn't get to text that often. However, she made sure to let me know what a great time she had with me and how much she loved my friends and family.

I didn't have much time before I'd be moving across the country. I spent the week mostly packing and hanging out with friends before I wouldn't be able to again. Jess, Taylor, and I exchanged goodbye gifts one night. I wasn't exactly sure what to get them, so I drew each of them a picture of us together, with a long heartfelt message. Jess cried, Taylor tried not to. Needless to say, they enjoyed their gifts, promising to frame and hang them in their dorms. 

Jess got me a shit load of useful stuff for college and California life. Sunglasses, shower sandals, desk organizers, nice toiletries and makeup, and some other shit I know I'll use a lot. Taylors gift idea was similar to mine, with a tad less creativity. He got me a massive poster sized photograph of all of us and some of our other friends who aren't as close as we are. Both gifts came with a long ass heartfelt message that I've cried reading on more than one occasion.

It was all very sweet and filled me with positivity and good memories. The vibe kinda died at the end of the week when I got a snapchat from Billie. It was a snap of her and that familiar face from the restaurant. I was overwhelmed with jealousy. He was pretty cute, I don't blame her. Reunited with the douche lmao it's caption read. They seemed to be sitting at a table in a kitchen somewhere, he had his arm around her. It made my stomach turn.

Cuteeee I replied before I could say anything to show my jealousy. Billie was typing.

Billie: he's aight I guess lmao

I could hear the sarcasm through the chat. 

Me: lmao stfu u likeeee him

Billie: ew feelings r gross

Me: fr tho, how is it with him?

I was too nosy to leave the subject alone.

Billie: we cute or whatever

Billie: he's happy to be taking snaps with Billie Eilish lol its a lil funny

Billie:  also a little fucking lame tho, but he's spoiling me with affection so idc lmaoo

Me: as he should lol u know a bitch deserves it

Honestly at first I felt some comfort knowing she was happy. At least he's not hurting her, then we'd have a serious problem. Billie responded but I didn't even read it, I left her on open. I couldn't stomach any more information about this kid. I packed a little more before going to bed.

As my last week at home started, it all felt really surreal. My mom organized a little goodbye dinner for me. It would be my brothers, my mom, my dad, Jess, and Taylor's whole family. It was a big steak dinner, and it was amazing. 

It was such a nice way to end this chapter in my life. It was all pretty sad but it felt right. It felt necessary. My parents learned to be civil when placed in a room together. If this was a couple of years ago, it'd be a problem, but they were just proud to be my parents. It felt really nice. I filled Billie in on the whole thing once the dinner was over, she was proud of me too, despite only knowing me for the summer.

At this point, I only had a few days before I'd be boarding a one way flight to LAX. I got one of my roommates numbers, she only lived 20 minutes off campus. Her name was Dani and she seemed pretty sweet, we didn't text much, just about our excitement to meet and find out who our third roommate was. I had everything packed that I would need for my dorm, I mailed each box to Dani who offered to keep them with her until I got there.