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oo1 "love is not an open door. it's a revolving one that sends you spinning in countless circles"
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16 YEARS OLD AND HE'S CONVINCED HE'S IN LOVE. Jeon Haneul did something to him that made him feel warm and fuzzy inside, and his heart race whenever he saw him. It bothered him greatly. He'd spent his whole life trying to prove he wasn't weak. That he was an intimidating guy (even though he came across as edgy rather than scary). So when Haneul brought out a side of him that he tried so desperately to suppress it angered and confused him. He wasn't meant to be soft and mushy. He was cold and intimidating.
He couldn't help it though. Haneul made him smile. Yoongi felt so god damn comfortable around him that he wasn't afraid to be vulnerable. Of course, if anyone called him out on it he got defensive and tried to play it cool.
It didn't help that he'd never been in love before. Yoongi had zero experience dating and couldn't even figure out it Haneul even liked him the way he did. He'd only known him a year but already he was enamored by him and his brat of a little brother Jungkook, who Yoongi adored with all his heart (which was something he'd also never admit to). Even though Jungkook wasn't his brother he felt somewhat responsible for him. He didn't say much to other people, leaving Yoongi to believe that he was a shy kid with little friends and always tried to be nice to him.
16 years old and he hates being in love. He doesn't like how confusing it feels. He doesn't like how he doesn't understand it. It also doesn't help that Han's hand is tangled with his while they stand on the monorail on the way home from school. Jungkook isn't with them. He was at home sick, so it was just the two of them, holding hands as to not get separated. Haneul learned very quickly that Yoongi didn't like crowds. He always didn't liked to be touched either, but after explaining to Yoongi why he'd held his hand on the way home that one day, when the train was packed and they were smushed in between people that it was something he did with Jungkook so that he didn't get lost in the crowd, Yoongi relaxed. It started to become a habit then between them. If the train was busy and jam packed, Haneul held Jungkook's hand and Yoongi's hand as well. The "buddy system" as Jungkook preferred to call it. Yoongi would never admit it but he thought it was cute.
When the train pulls up to their stop, Yoongi can feel Haneul tugging on his hand, and pulling him towards the door. Yoongi tightened his grip so they wouldn't get separated. He felt anxiety rise in him as they neared the door and it only relaxed when they were outside in the warm summer air. Haneul instantly let go of his hand once they were off the train. Yoongi wished he'd held on just a little longer. He liked when he held his hand. He said nothing however, and just stood on the platform next to him, waiting for the older to say goodbye. He didn't.
"Are you alright?" Haneul questioned. "You're a little more quieter than usual,"
Yoongi didn't like how observant Haneul was.
"I'm fine," Yoongi huffed, eyes flickering from Haneul's and then down the ground. He reached into his sweater pocket and pulled out his pack of smokes and his lighter. He could hear him sigh as he lit one up. "What?" Yoongi growled.
He didn't mean for it to come out as harsh as it did.
"I wish you wouldn't smoke," he mumbled softly, eyes glued to the cigarette between Yoongi's fingers. He watched the younger raise it too his lips.
"That's not for you to decide," Yoongi replied, tilting his head to the side. Sometimes Yoongi didn't like that he was younger than Haneul. It made him feel like Haneul was trying to order him around because he was older. He knew that was never his intention. It's just how he felt. It was a weird thing.
"I know it isn't," Haneul replied, taking a step towards him. "-and I know I have no right in telling you what to do, but sometimes I wish you wouldn't. Makes me wonder how long I'll get to keep you around,"
Yoongi frowned, cigarette still in between his lips. He let out a breathy chuckle and turned away from Haneul, running his hands through his hair. He too, took a step forward, so that he and Haneul were standing face to face. Haneul was taller than he was, meaning he had to look up at him. He took another drag off his cigarette and blew the smoke out. Haneul stood his ground, even though the smell of the smoke bothered him. "Why do care?" Yoongi murmured. "What's it matter to you if I'm still around or not?"
"Because you're my friend, and I wouldn't want to lose you, Min Yoongi," Haneul tells him confidently.
Yoongi chuckles, trying to hide his feelings. He loves the thought of being with Haneul. Even if it means that they are just friends. But he pretends to be cool, and play it off by saying, "Maybe I'll quit," before smirking up at him.
"Seriously?"
Yoongi doesn't miss the hopefulness in his voice.
"Yeah," Yoongi jokes. "Maybe I'll quit. Just for you Han,"
Han smiles subtly. "Maybe I can convince you to start?" Han suggests and now Yoongi's looking at him with intense curiosity. When Yoongi doesn't respond, Han is lifting his hands and cupping the sides of Yoongi's face and kissing him. Yoongi drops the cigarette to the ground as his eyes flutter shut. He doesn't have time to kiss Han back because he's pulling away. Yoongi doesn't know if he should pull him back in. He's in total shock. "I have to go now," Han whispered to him. "Need to make sure Kookie is okay,"
Yoongi is breathing a little heavier. "R-Right," he whispers back. He's still frozen in place. Han's hands are slipping away and that's when he reacts, hands cautiously yet quickly finding their way up to the collar of Han's shirt and holding him in place for only a few seconds longer. He doesn't kiss Han, even though he wants but Han seems to sense that's what he's wanting because he leans down again. Yoongi kisses him back this time, timidly, and unconfidently. He's never kissed anyone before, but Han doesn't seem to care.
Yoongi pulls back to catch his breath and Han gently removes his hands from his shirt. "I have to go Yoongi," Han tells him again in a soft, soothing voice. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
"C-Call me when you get home?" Yoongi countered. He hates this feeling of vulnerability. He feels weak in this moment, but Han did that to him and he couldn't care less. As long as it was Han that made him feel this way it was okay with him.
"Of course," Han is now kissing his forehead goodbye and pulling away, leaving Yoongi on the train platform by himself.
