oo8

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oo8
"it's okay to be nervous about change, change is scary,"

_______

YOONGI DIDN'T PLAN TO GO AWAY FOR ALMOST TWO MONTHS, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, HE WOULDN'T HAVE CHANGED A THING. Going home was probably the best decision he had ever made in a long time. He missed his parents; he hadn't done the best job at keeping in touch with them after Han, but that didn't mean he didn't miss them during that time. He just needed space and wasn't ready yet.

It was nice to have home cooked meals, and to sleep in his room after so many years. It felt like he was a little kid again. He visited family with his mother, and played cards with his father just like when he was still in school. He visited his favourite spots from when he was younger, and without fail, Yoongi found himself sitting by the monorail every morning. Sometimes he would go on, and see where it would take him. Other days, he just watched it go by. He liked to make up background lives for the people who got on and off. He did that with Jungkook sometimes. They'd wait for Han to get back from work, and whenever someone got off, they would make up a life for them. The mother of three was a world renowned singer, the old man with the cane was secretly a retired ninja, the younger boy was on his way to becoming the world's greatest harp player. Silly, and ridiculous lives, but it was a fun way to pass the time.

But now, coming home felt strange. Home was quiet, and empty now with Holly still at Jungkook's. No Holly to greet him when he came home, just silence. That and a light drizzle of rain. It had stopped for a few days, then picked back up, and Yoongi was just praying that maybe the weatherman was right about tomorrow. He was calling for sunshine and blue skies.


He dropped his bags by the couch and flopped down on top of it. He was hungry, but wasn't sure what he wanted, and knew that there wasn't anything in his fridge worth eating. He missed Han, and how he would cook for him. Dinner was already on the table for him when he came home. Yoongi dug around his pocket in search of his phone, planning on ordering in, when a knock sounded on his door. He'd been home for less then ten minutes, and was very confused as to who was knocking on his door.

He rose with a sigh, and shuffled towards the door, opening it. He was pleasantly surprised to see Jungkook standing in the hallway with a plastic bag in one hand, and Holly's leash on the other. For a split second, Yoongi disregarded the fact the Jungkook was there as all his attention went to his dog. He scooped the dog up into his arms, and hugged him close to his chest. "Hi buddy," he whispered into the dog's fur. "I missed you,"

Jungkook poked Yoongi's arm, gaining his attention. He pouted. What about me? Yoongi laughed, and motioned for him to come into the apartment. He set Holly down, unclipping his leash from his collar. Jungkook set the bag down on the table, and when his hands were free, Yoongi tugged him in for a hug. "I missed you too," he whispered, rubbing his hands up and down his back. "Missed having you stop by once a week. I didn't plan on being away that long, I just...I really needed that,"

Jungkook nodding, knowing how he felt. "I feel better," Yoongi added. "I feel like I can think better,"

Jungkook pulled back, with a genuine smile on his face. That's good. Jungkook motioned to the plastic bag. He reached in and pulled out a container of food. Yoongi sighed. "You're a saint," he said, feeling hungrier than when he arrived home.

Yoongi grabbed a few plates while Jungkook pulled the rest of the food from the bag. They sat together at the dining room table together and ate. Yoongi filled him in about his trip while Jungkook listened. Jungkook had wished he could have been there with him, but he'd been busy with work, and getting ready for university.

When Yoongi had told him all about his trip, Jungkook filled him in on getting accepted to school, and how he was planning on living on campus to get the whole experience. Yoongi smiled softly at that news. It would be nice to have Jungkook closer to him. Yoongi would have offered for the younger to move in with him, but the apartment only had one bedroom, and it wouldn't be fair to make him sleep in the living room. Yoongi apologized as well for not congratulating him sooner on getting in. Jungkook had perfected his artistic talents over the past few years and had built himself quite the portfolio. Yoongi was incredibly proud of him, and if Han were here, he would be too.

Jungkook asked if Yoongi would be going back in the fall. Yoongi made a face and said he wasn't sure. There had been a class that he was interested in - psychology - but he didn't think he'd get in. It was more of an interest than a passion anyways.


"How are your meetings going?" Yoongi questioned, when they were cleaning up dinner. The sun had begun to set, and Yoongi wondered what the time was.

Jungkook typed out a message on his phone, feeling a little too tired to speak.

Which ones? My meetings with just Namjoon or group?

"Both,"

I still haven't told Namjoon what happened. We're focusing more so on finding techniques to help me avoid panic attacks in school, and how to work around my muteness. University is way different than high school.

"You're going to do just fine," Yoongi told him. "You've always done well no matter what, and you're always finding solutions to problems or obstacles. I have all the faith in the world in you,"

Jungkook went red.

I'm participating more too, in group. Remember when you gave me Han's sweater? We talked about things we were grateful for that day or something positive that had happened to us. I told them about how I got the sweater because I was so excited that you gave it to me. I know how much you like Han's sweaters. That they make you feel close to him.

It was Yoongi's turn to go red.

"I felt bad...I have a majority of his things, and I...I've been hoarding them,"

He was your fiance Hyung

"But he's your brother. You have more of a right to his things than I do. I have a ton of his sweaters, I can afford to let you have some of them,"

Jungkook beamed up at him.

Hyung?

"Yeah?"

Will you come to group with me one day?

Yoongi was amused on the inside. Of course Jungkook would word it like that. One day as opposed to this week or next week. Jungkook had been trying for several months now to get him to join, and now that he was trying to get better, Jungkook would probably ask him about it more.

Yoongi grabbed two glasses from the cupboard and filled them with water. He set one down in front of Jungkook and took a seat back at the table. "I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it," Yoongi admitted. "I don't know if I can ever talk about it. I- I haven't been sleeping right since I stopped drinking. I used to drink away the nightmares, but now...they're back. I keep seeing the accident over and over again."

Jungkook reached across the table and laced his fingers with Yoongi's. "You don't have to talk," Jungkook spoke. "You don't have to tell a bunch of strangers why you're hurting," Jungkook swallowed and took a large gulp of water to help the coarseness of his throat. "I just want you to be there with me. It'd make me feel better,"

Yoongi squeezed Jungkook's hand. "One day," Yoongi said, and that was a promise. One day he would go with him. He just didn't know when.













shorter than the rest, but it's more of a filler chapter. if you're lucky, I'll get chapter nine out today too.

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