Ghost Of You | Yoonmin

o14

o14

"on the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me..."

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IT FELT WEIRD HAVING A BOYFRIEND AGAIN. It was also weird that it wasn't Han, but it was a good change to Yoongi. It was certainly a change that would take a while to adjust to, but nevertheless, still good. Jimin was good for him. He made him happier than he had felt in a long time.

However, there was guilt too, a deep hatred within Yoongi for feeling happy with Jimin. For so long, he had held onto the past, to what had been or what could have been. It took him awhile to adjust to the fact that Jimin wasn't Han. He was probably the furthest thing from Han, but he liked that about Jimin because in his own way, Jimin complimented him, just as Han had. They just took different approaches to it. Things wouldn't be the way they were when he had been with Han, and that was okay. But Yoongi felt guilty for thinking that way, that things might be the same. Yoongi didn't know anything outside of dating Han. He'd been his first and last up until Jimin. He didn't know what to expect. Jimin was there to remind him that it was okay to feel weird though, because he was going through the same thing. He hadn't dated anyone since Hwan, so he was taking it one day at a time just like him. The two of them were experiencing a lot of changes.

But the biggest change of all was that Yoongi no longer wore his engagement ring. Well, technically he still did - around his neck - but it longer adorned his ring finger. Jimin had told Yoongi that he didn't need to take it off. He didn't mind that he wore it. (Jimin thought it was hot if he was being honest) but Yoongi had told him that maybe it was time for him to try and move on.

The first day was terrible. He woke up, didn't see it on his hand and started sobbing. Jimin - who had spent the night with him at his apartment - woke up startled by how loud his crying was. He knew that this was going to be hard on him, but he didn't think it would be enough to warrant a full scale panic attack. Jimin wrapped him in his arms, rocking him back and forth. He whispered calming in his ear about how proud he was for trying and that it was okay if he wasn't ready for this stage just yet. He kissed his forehead and wiped away his tears. When Yoongi finally calmed down, Jimin slipped the ring back on his finger to prevent any more breakdowns. If this was going to be how Yoongi reacted, then he didn't want to risk it. He'd rather him wear the ring and be sane then not and go crazy.

The second time he tried, was during a session with Namjoon. The older had asked Yoongi to remove the ring. It had been a week since he last tried, and while Yoongi was reluctant to take it off, Namjoon was curious to see how long Yoongi could go before he lost his mind. He asked Yoongi to place it on the table in front of them, before going about their session. Namjoon asked him about his mental health, how he was sleeping, how work was etc, but Yoongi wasn't listening in the slightest. He didn't take his eyes off his ring once, and at the ten minute mark he broke down into tears, startling Namjoon. Yoongi scrambled to put the ring back on, clutching his hand closely to his chest. He'd never seen Yoongi look so vulnerable before. He looked broken, and somewhat childish. The seriousness of his face was stripped and replaced with much more emotion. It took Namjoon almost half an hour to calm him back down to the point where he could breathe properly again.

However, this gave Namjoon an idea. If Yoongi truly wanted to be able to take off the ring, and keep it off, then for ten minutes a day he was to remove his ring, and try to focus on something else. The goal was to eventually be able to go from ten minutes, to forever without wearing it or feeling guilty about removing it. It wouldn't be easy, and Yoongi anticipated a lot more breakdowns to come in the future.