The Force -Marvel-

Chapter 25

Lydia slipped into the bathroom after everyone had gone to bed like she had been doing the last four months. In the beginning, before SHIELD, when her powers were still developing, Lydia could only do one thing. She could create small force fields around herself. 

That was it. 

When SHIELD found her, it was still the only thing she could do because she hadn't tried anything else. Lydia always suspected she could do more but held back. Then Natasha was almost crushed, and Lydia hadn't thought about her actions. It was instinct. She willed it, and it happened. She created a force field around Natasha.

But it was Wanda who helped her realize she was capable of more. 

Still, there was a part of her holding back—a part of her that she had buried. The Hydra part of her. Sometimes, she could almost pretend those years didn't happen. 

But there was always a voice in the back of her mind that told her she wasn't the same as the others. Lydia wasn't always on the same side as them. She was once their enemy. The Accords were a harsh reminder of that. There was a part of her that would always be Hydra. A broken part of her that never recovered from what happened.

Now, Lydia was standing in a motel bathroom with the faucet running. 

"Okay," Lydia whispered to herself. "Just like you practiced." Her hands wavered in the air as she stared at the water. A purple glow around her hands appeared, and a small orb formed in the middle of the running water. The water hit the orb and began running down the sides of it. The inside of the sphere remained dry. 

Lydia smiled to herself and shifted her hands, causing the sphere to move. An idea formed, and she closed her eyes. The girl imagined the orb filling with water and being trapped from the air outside. She willed it.

Lydia opened one eye, and she laughed quietly in disbelief. The purple orb was filled with water from the sink. Once again, she shifted her hand and moved the orb. It was still a force field, the energy protecting what was inside. Lydia raised the shield. The liquid sat still as it shifted.

The smile on her face only broadened as it balanced in front of the mirror. Her eyes lazily drifted from the purple orb to the mirror it was floating in front of. Her green eyes landed on her face. Usually, she would look away, but this time she didn't. It wasn't often that she looked at herself in mirrors, always afraid of what she would see staring back. But she couldn't look away. Her hair was her most dominant feature, white as snow. The unnaturalness of it stuck out. 

Lydia's hands trembled as she stared at herself. Her eyes traveled from her hair toward her cheeks, noticing their red tint. Then they traveled down her neck and arms. A few freckles littered her dry skin. 

There were several differences between her life now and what it once was—some more significant than others. Lydia clenched her jaw, feeling unfamiliar feelings bubble in her stomach. The force shield, still full of water, surged. The purple intensifies. The white-haired girl breathed shakily, trying to push the negative thoughts away. Yet, the feelings from Hydra always made their way back into her head.

"You will one day be the most powerful creature, and all of this will be worth it."

Lydia gasped as the words rang in her ears. Her hands retracted. The purple orb disappeared, causing the water to fall into the sink and splash onto the ground. She stood still for a moment, uncertain of what to do. 

Then she dropped to her knees and grabbed a towel to clean up the water that spilled onto the floor. It didn't take long. There wasn't much water.

She threw the towel on the sink but in the process, knocked over the soap bottle. In seconds the small plastic container fell to the ground. Lydia's hand moved before her mind could process what had happened. Before the soap touched the ground, a purple glow entrapped it. The soap was mere inches from hitting the floor and waking everyone. 

Lydia breathed out a sigh of relief and reached forward, grabbing the soap. Standing up, set the soap back on the counter. The girl sighed, gripping the edge of the sink. That was when she noticed that the handle for the water was still pushed back, but no water was running. Without a second thought, she pushed the handle down and turned around. 

As quietly as she entered, she left. Lydia stood outside in the dark room, slowly closing the door after her. The second the door closed, the lights in the room turned on. "Oh, my." Lydia flinched, heart racing. She wasn't expecting anyone to be awake. To her shock and slight horror, Natasha was sitting at the kitchen table. "Hey?" It came out as more of a question.

"Hi." Natasha leaned back in the chair, an unimpressed look on her face.

The two stared at each other. Lydia knew she had to say something. "So." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "How long have you been awake?"

"Since the moment you were." That shouldn't have surprised Lydia as much as she did. Natasha was a spy once, and Lydia wasn't very sneaky. Getting things past her was next to impossible.

"Just tonight?"

"Four months."

"Listen, I can explain." The woman raised an eyebrow at her, almost daring her to try and lie. Lydia sighed, shoulders dropping. "Figures." It went silent again. The door to Steve and Sam's room was still closed. "Why didn't you say anything before?"

"Why would I?" Natasha stood up, dusting off her hands like she had been eating. "If you wanted my help, you would have asked."

Lydia felt slightly nauseous. "I'm sorry. I wanted to see if I could do it on my own."

"And," Natasha wondered.

"I saved a soap bottle tonight," Lydia shrugged as if it would help. "But that's about it." The look on the older woman's face was unreadable. Lydia grew uncomfortable under her intense gaze. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" Natasha tilted her head to the side.

Lydia rolled her eyes. "If you're not mad, then why were you sitting here?"

"You were gone for longer than normal," Natasha explained. "I was curious." Lydia bowed her head as she recalled the feelings she had. Unfortunately, Natasha noticed her change of expression instantly. "Was it something else?"

"It's stupid-"

"It's not stupid if it bothers you." The woman stepped closer and grabbed her hand. "So, tell me."

"I was just thinking about myself," Lydia whispered.

"Yourself?" Natasha wasn't expecting that to be her answer.

"What I look like," she hesitated. "And Hydra."

Natasha sucked in a sharp breath. "Lydia-"

"I know," she stopped her. "I know what you're going to say, and you don't have to."

"You couldn't possibly know what I was going to say," Natasha responded. "And I think I do." Lydia looked up at her. "You have made incredible progress. There are always going to be bumps in the road, but you have come so far." The air conditioning in the room turned on, causing the ceiling to shift. "You're an entirely different person than the one I met all those years ago. With everything that's happened in the last two years. With the fallout and then Wanda, you're handling it amazingly. You're doing amazing."

"I know," Lydia had done well. She knew that. "I don't think about it as much anymore, but sometimes old feelings sneak up on me."

"That's normal," Natasha placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "They probably will forever, but eventually, the pain gets easier."

"I'm not in pain," Lydia clarified. "I don't know what I feel."

Natasha blinked once, "well, whatever you feel, it'll pass." It went quiet, "come on, let's get you back to bed."

Lydia wasn't tired, but she didn't argue with Natasha. She knew better than to argue. "Okay." Silently, she walked into their room. Natasha stood in her spot for a moment longer, unsure what to do. Her words didn't seem to have any effect on Lydia, and she had no idea what was going on inside her head or how to help. After a brief moment, she forced the thoughts aside and followed after her.