The Last Petal-COMPLETED (UNEDITED)

Kabanata 34

Kabanata 34

Game

Sapu-sapo ko ang ulo ko kinabukasan dahil sa matinding hang over. My head is spinning upside down!

Fuck that alcohol! I hissed.

Mabagal akong bumangon at napagtantong nasa kwarto ko nga ako. I'm sure Race brought me here, siya lang naman ang nagyayang umuwi na kagabi.

Pagkatapos mag-ayos ay agad akong lumabas ng kwarto. It's past 10 in the morning at tahimik na ang buong kabahayan. Siguro busy na sa kani-kanilang gawain ang mga tao dito. Kaya nagpasya nalang akong bumaba para magtimpla ng sariling kape para sa hang over. Lalampas na sana ako sa opisina ni Daddy nang may narinig akong nag-uusap sa loob. Bahagyang naka-awang ang pinto kaya dahan-dahan akong naglakad palapit doon.

“But they deserve to know it, Patricio!”

Kunot ang noo ko nang marinig kung sino ang nagsalita, it was nanay Atari's voice.

“They'll hate me for sure!” kontra ni Daddy dahilan ng mas lalong pagkunot ng noo ko. What are they talking about?

“Did you see how Race look Wren? He looked at her like he adore your daughter the most! And we both know that it was... a sin.”

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang ibig sabihin ni nanay Atari, isa lang ang naiintindihan ko. Race and I aren't bound for each other... but why it was a sin?

“My daughter will get hurt.” Damang-dama ko ang lungkot sa boses ni Daddy. Pero hindi ko alam na mas masasaktan ako sa sinabi ni nanay Atari.

“You'll hurt our son's feelings, too.”

Those six words breaks my heart relentlessly. It hurts me like a remorseless killer. Sa sobrang sakit na nararamdaman ko hindi ko na napansin na tuluyan ko na palang nabuksan ang pintuan na nagpagulat sa dalawang taong matagal ko nang pinagkakatiwalaan pero sila rin pala ang sisira nang tiwala ko.

Hindi ko alam kung alin ang mas masakit. Ang nagsinunggaling si Daddy o ang malaman na kapatid ko ang taong matagal ko nang gusto!

“W-Wren?!” My father's voice croaked, pero dahil siguro sa sobrang sakit na nararamdaman ko hindi ko na magawang lumuha pa.

“Wren,” sa mahinang boses ni nanay Atari.

Hindi ko matanggap! Aside sa niloko nila kami ni Race, they also betrayed my mom. And they broke me into shits!

The man I love was my what? A half-brother? How disgusting!

“How can you do this to us, Dad.” Sa mariin kong boses. Hindi pa rin nagsi-sink in sa akin ang narinig. Baka naman resulta lang ito nang hang over ko at naghahallucinate lang ako.

I'd rather die perish, than to accept this shit!

“Wren... I’m sorry,” Daddy preached.

“I want a fucking explanation, not a goddamn sorry!” I cried out, hindi na alintana ang pagmumura ko sa harap ng aking ama. Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili dahil sa gulo ng sitwasyon.

“Tama ba ang narinig ko, Race is your son?” I continue.

I darted my eyes to nanay Atari kaya napayuko ito. I look again at my father and I saw the guilt in his eyes. How I hate this moment of my life!

“This is bullshit!” I hostily slammed the door and rundown to get my car and drove away.

Patuloy ang pagpatak ng luha ko habang nagmamaneho. Thankfully, hindi naman ako nadisgrasya at naka-abot pa Rin sa sementeryo ng ligtas.

I sat on my mom's grave and cry again. Ibinaluktot ko ang mga tuhod ko at yumuko, saka ako umiyak nang umiyak. I didn't stop, not until my eyes gets tired in crying.

“They betrayed us, M-Mom,” I grieved. How I wish it is just a nightmare.

“All this years, I am in love with my b-brother!”

Muli na namang namuo ang luha sa mga mata ko dahil sa naalala. Race is courting me, and he's also... some sort of... in love with me, too.

Muling umagos ang mga luha ko. Hinayaan kong muli ang sarili sa gan’on hanggang sa nagkusa rin akong tumahan. My eyes hurts because of an endless crying, ramdam kong namumugto ito. I look at my mom's grave at hinaplos ang pangalan nitong naka-ukit sa mamahaling marble. Nakuha naman ang atensiyon ko sa isang piraso ng pulang Daisy na nakalagay sa vase na nakapatong sa lapida ni Mommy.

I wipe my tear-stained face at kinuha ang bulaklak. I choke back my forming tears. I start on plucking the Daisy's petal and murmuring my usual game since I was a kid.

“He loves me...” I start chanting and plucked the first petal.

Everytime I plucked the petal, my chest hurts like the petal was connected to my heart. My unlimited tears for a limited person starts to trickle down in my checks. I'm trying to keep myself strong when I plucked the next petal and provides the outcome of his feelings.

I was so numb as I plucked these petals off one by one. My lips utters as my words stutters. I longed for his love even if my heart suffer. His forbidden love.

My lovelies, it was all so simple then, at 11 years old to find out about if he loves me or he loves me not. It was fun plucking the petals off and get excited for what the answer was going to be with the last.

“He loves me... he loves me not.” I murmured again.

A game I know a long time ago. Iilan nalang ang natitirang petals ng Daisy, at nagsisimula na namang mamuo ang takot at sakit sa dibdib ko. Fearing what may the last petal say, taking hopes before chances be hay.

This game was for fools and I am one of them. I can't help myself from shaking while watching every petals fall like a sands in a clock made of glass. When I plucked the last petal, there, I found myself grasping on my illusions. A tear escape on my eyes uncontrollably, again.

I rubbed my eyes and stood over the casket. Either I'll accept it or not, but even the last petal says, he loves me not. We ain't born to love each other. I just can't accept that, I fell in love with my... half brother.

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GorgeousYooo 💜 🍀