Rise Till' We Fall [TAEGYU]

#6: Of course not

(Beomgyu's POV)

Kai came back to our dorm. That's not normal since he isn't the kind to sleep late, but then things got even weirder. There were banging sounds, and they seem to be fighting over something. 

I got up and went to the door. " You like him, don't you?" Kai was saying, and I scooted closer to listen better. " I loved you from the very start, don't you know?" I let out an inaudible gasp and opened the door quietly. " I was there for you every time, helping you in any way I could, and now you run off liking someone else." I can see them in this position; Tae was grabbing Kai's shoulders with an expression I had never seen on him before, looking angry, resentful, stressed, and scared at the same time; Kai was crying and laughing, " You're not the stupid one, I am, for loving you! " 

I stepped out just as Kai's rant was cut short. Tae turned over and he looked like he saw Bloody Baron himself. It was a silent few seconds. 

Kai started laughing like a maniac. "And now you look at him like that, like he's the most precious thing in this fucking messed up world; I had worked so hard, so hard, so hard just to get half of that, not even half. You two can go fuck or something when I'm going to find a place to die. You'll probably be happy, me gone and you two lovebirds can do whatever you want." And with that, he stormed out of our dorm, not even walking straight. " Hey!" Tae shook his head. " I'm calling the school," he said, avoiding my glance. 

He walked over to the phone and called the school nurse and the person on the school mental health hotline. " They said they would watch out for him," he said after the calls. I just stared confusedly at him. " Well, what happened......please forget it," he whispered after some seconds. " It's just him being drunk. You know, people say you are the real you when you are drunk. He's just like that. So, nothing happened." He looked up and glanced away again after accidentally meeting my gaze. He looked scared and tired, some sort of raw emotion spilling out of his eyes and spelling vulnerability. 

" Tae, you like me?" I blurted out. That thought was circulating around my mind, stuck in it like a broken record.  It was dizzying just to imagine that Tae liked me; he was always my best friend, my best pal. He's gay, but still......He couldn't really like "like" me right? 

There was silence. I didn't really expect him to answer, but then to my surprise, I noticed that he was trembling. He avoided my stare again and he seems to be obviously recoiling from me. " Of course not," he finally said. " I mean, I like you as a friend, but not as a lover or something." 

" Well then, can you tell me who the lucky guy is?" I asked. Tae mustered a weak smile back at me. "Nah," he said in a half-whisper. "I'm really tired," and with that, he walked back to his room and shut the door softly, leaving me feeling giddy, relieved, sour, then all that's left is sadness and emptiness I had never felt before. 

I lay on my bed and pulled the covers towards me. The wind is blowing through the open window, so I walked over to close it. I leaned on the windowsill and stood there, looking over the courtyard. I let the wind ruffle my hair and suddenly thought of Taehyun. I thought of him playing with my hair, comforting me when I was sad, surprising me with his little tricks, smiling at me like the world is perfect...... Tears rolled down my face before I realized, the moonlight comforting me as my world started to collapse. 

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I've decided that I'll update every Sunday from now on, so be excited about the next chapter!

Dream Chapter: Eternity was released on May 18 and I loved the album! My favorite song is Maze in the Mirror now. 

Also, I've noticed that in yesterday's performance of Can't you see me uploaded to KBS TV's youtube channel, Beomgyu and Soobin's knees seem to be bruised and they seem tired and pained. I'm so worried:(     The video is on top, skip to 1:01 if you want