Don't wait for me | Griffin Johnson

{17} alone

(Val's pov)

Months later

in the past few months, not much has changed in my life really.

Nick and I are still awkward around each other,  I've gotten a lot closer to Charli.

I've done a lot more testing, we're soon to be ending this clinical trial.

My health hasn't changed much, the doctors are starting to worry.

They're hoping I won't have to start chemotherapy, but they're running out of things to do.

I feel myself getting closer to Griffin, although he's just my doctor I see him as a friend now.

Maybe that's not for the best, but I feel less lonely talking to him.

He always takes me out for food when I have an appointment, even if I'm not getting blood drawn.

It's become our thing, my main doctor doesn't mind too much.

I have an added hour to my appointments just for Griffin and I to eat.

He does it during his lunch break, so it all works out.

I didn't have an appointment today, I finished my classes earlier and had nothing to do.

I decided to get out of the house and take a walk, maybe find some cool places.

I walked into the bathroom to freshen myself up.

I looked in the mirror and saw my pale skin, I couldn't help but judge myself

I looked dead, most of my tiktok comments say so.

I couldn't hide my dark circles or eyebags anymore, I was a walking zombie.

Alive but also not.

I've gotten a lot smaller too, many of my followers have also noticed.

Some asking for me to get help and others just hating on me about it.

I can't stop myself from reading my comments, although I shouldn't.

Maybe it's a way of punishing myself for being happy, I don't deserve happiness when I'm just going to die anyways.

Just going to leave everyone who cares about me.

Sometimes I think of just ending it all early, maybe it would be easier on my family.

But I don't know how my mom would explain it to my siblings, I said I'd stay as long as I could for Laila.

I made a pact with myself that if the pain became to unbearable for my family, I wouldn't hold on anymore.

I'm terrified of death only because of my family, if I was alone maybe it wouldn't be so scary.

_________

"Valia?" I heard a slight mumble

I slightly looked up towards Griffin.