Dark Light

Chapter 4: Appointment of Sorrow

In this empty place, she made me a light. To light up the path to tomorrow, she shone with her smile.

- - -

When fear screamed between my ears, the death, and glory staid beyond my grasp. As it held me tight, hands wringing within my neck, only the past haunted me forever and ever. It always came back, black without regret. With no word or a warning, looking directly into my eyes. Even while I knew nothing, and blinded myself, that monster died by my hands, not by my choices.

My unholy world shook around, collapsing inside it all without sorrow, as my mind vanished and returned from the night. My cry, the blood, and the death looming over me, all faded from existence and back toward reality. Only my bedroom and the loud noises stayed behind, clearing the fantasy, when it woke me up from the deep nightmarish slumber.

"Attention, you miserable children," a pitch-high voice screamed through my room. "A new morning has come at last full of wondrous joy, so don't let today's bad weather break your inner peace. For today is a beautiful day that will bring the best out in every one of you."

The nurse, pointlessly rambling on in high spirits, couldn't let my mind get a grip on reality. The veil of dreams wouldn't let my soul rest. Only after the passing of seconds, my eyes opened clearly, while my mind wouldn't. It took some time before I finally moved out of bed and opened the closet for my uniform, hanging the white dress I wore back. The single nightgown in an empty closet told me how my old world was left behind. And without remorse in my heart, I unlocked the door to the other side.

"Just look who we have here; our beloved puppet."

The devil stood right before my nose. And it watched me from high above, reveling in high and mighty malice within her glimmering reddish, devilish eyes. "Finally finished, am I right?" the nurse spoke. "I wonder what today will bring now that you're alive and well. I cannot wait to see you in full of despair."

That glorious smile only brought more darkness. And when I didn't show her the dwindling glimmers in my eyes as I stared off, hers quickly faded as well. Instead, she glared with nothing more than burning hatred, at the emptiness that lay before her and within me.

"Move in line, quickly," sighted the nurse, irritated, when her face lighted up and hell disappeared. "We are all waiting for you."

Her face shook when it showed no more interest. Not when she twisted away and moved back to the front. Not when I at the same time moved in line behind another girl. Emptiness, it was the nothingness itself that drove me forward.

"Alright, everyone from group 3A, get moving," the nurse shouted and, instantly, the front child coordinated everyone forward. One by one, all followed the leader towards the stairs, not deviating a single inch, and slowly moved down. Only the nurse stayed behind to scream throughout the opposite hallway for the rest of the children.

Still, nothing changed afterward; the rest was still the same as last night. Creaking staircase, empty hallways, bricks, and barred-off windows, everything still trapped me inside a living greyness. That was until the scenery suddenly changed. Milk walls, withered from old age, replaced the crumbling background. There were four tables in two rows, three already full of other children. And one by one, the mindless children walked along the counter by the canteen. Only a cook stood by the desk, filling the children's plates.

"What is it that you want?" a stern voice spoke out when it broke my inner peace immediately. Stuttering, I watched how a cook held a couple of herbs in her mouth and gave me a casual look.

"It seems like you are new here. Even so, you look just like the rest," the cook spoke without paying attention, filling her large spoon with a brown liquid, and gliding it slowly over my plate. "Sometimes, I also wonder what we all are doing here. But after a moment of thinking, that answer never comes. But we must move on, even for someone like you. Now, go on, my child."