When the Ocean Calls

Lani

The grey tile floor at the police station zoomed in and out of focus. I fixated on the rhythmic rise and fall of my chest. The air felt different after crying, clearer and colder, like after a rainstorm. My muscles relaxed into the wooden chair I sat on, the only occupied seat in the lobby.

There, all better. Everything's fine. Just don't think about—

Tears spilled from my eyes. I buried my face in my hands. Kiara's name echoed through my head, her face plastered in my mind's eye. I couldn't stop thinking about her. The harder I tried, the more thoughts circled in my head.

The clicking of shoes across the floor forced me to look up. A woman in uniform approached me, a styrofoam cup in hand. The wrinkles in her bronzed skin deepened as she smiled.

"Here you go dear," she soothed. "This will help you feel better. Let me know if you need anything else."

My throat was too swollen to speak, so I pressed my lips into a tiny smile of gratitude. I received the cup, warmth seeping into my palms. The roasted scent of coffee wafted up my nostrils. The woman ambled away, merciful enough to not engage me in conversation. With shaky hands, I sipped the scalding beverage, drenched in creamer and artificial sugar. I shouldn't have drunk it with all its additives, but I did. Every last drop. There was something comforting in the repetitive motion, liquid trickling down my throat, heat seeping into my bones.

The caffeinated beverage did little to perk my energy. Worry pervaded my thoughts at every moment, especially at night. I would drift off for a few minutes, no more than an hour. Then the dreams would come, manifestations of the speculations running through my head. One moment, she drowned in the ocean. The next, she sat in a warehouse, duct-tape around her tiny frame. Then she roamed the streets, lost as she called my name.

A whimper escaped my lips, followed by fresh tears. I didn't bother to wipe them away. Everyone in the police station had seen me crying by now. And I didn't care what they thought of me. My sister had been missing for three days.

I couldn't imagine my life without her. She was my best friend. We'd always been there for each other growing up. She was the one person who really understood me. And even though we'd been apart these past months, to lose her completely would be unbearable.

I tried to shove my thoughts aside. No! She is not dead. She is still alive! If I just hoped enough, maybe it would be true.

The marble lock screen on my phone lit up. I glanced at the new text message.

"Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think and twice as beautiful as you've ever imagined." - Dr. Seuss

My finger pressed the side of my phone, and the screen went black. Blank, just like me. I was numb to the words of wisdom my friends had been blowing up my phone with. Their efforts were noble, but useless. My baby sister was gone. A quote from Dr. Seuss would not make me feel better.

"Lani Vatelle," a voice said. I glanced up to see Officer Johnson standing in the doorway of his office. He was a burly man, with a round, tough face to match his build. His muscled, darkly tanned arm swept toward the door. I stood, though my knees felt like overcooked spaghetti, and said a silent prayer for Kiara. Please, let the police find her. Please, let her be safe.

Officer Perez and Officer Nuon—the other officers assisting with my sister's case—gathered on either side of the central mahogany desk inside. Officer Johnson took his seat behind the table and motioned toward the wooden chair in front. I eased myself onto the black cushioning.

Deep breaths. Whatever happens will happen.

"Miss Vatelle, we've been searching for your sister for the past three days." Officer Johnson paused for a second. "I'm just going to cut to the chase. We haven't been able to find Kiara."

My teeth bit into my lip to keep from crying out. A steady stream of water chafed my cheeks.

"Not even a trace?" I asked desperately.

"Not even a trace," the officer said evenly. I exhaled a rickety breath.

No. She has to be alive.

"I've been heading up the coastguard's search of the beaches." I met Officer Nuon's tapered black eyes that glittered with sympathy against her warm, golden skin. "We've been combing the beaches every morning but have had no success in finding her."

Nails dug into palms as my fist pressed against looming hysterics. She can't be dead. Grief mounted in my chest, constricting my throat and tingling my sinuses until it threatened to explode.

Officer Nuon's hand rested on my shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said. "But it may actually be good news. If she hasn't washed up on shore yet, that means that she may not have drowned at sea."

A ray of hope pulsed through my chest, warmer than the sunlight streaming through the windows in front of me. "Which means there's still a chance for her?"

Officer Johnson sighed. "I can't make any promises, and there's no way to know for sure. But since we have not found a body, there is a chance that she might still be alive. But there's also a chance that she is not. We simply do not know."

"We suspect that Kiara has been kidnapped," Officer Perez chimed in. "We're investigating potential leads right now. If she has been kidnapped, you will most likely be contacted for ransom money soon. We'll keep you informed if we find out more regarding her disappearance."

"I'll do anything to get her back," I declared. "No matter how much it costs."

"If you are contacted, immediately call us. Do not pay them anything unless we tell you to. And above all, do not agree to meet anyone anywhere," Officer Perez said.

I blinked, stunned by his harshness.

"We just don't want you getting hurt," Officer Nuon explained. "Too often, people think that they can deal with kidnappers on their own, without the help of the police. They forget that they are dealing with criminals. You never know what their game is. If you hear anything, let us know immediately. It could be the difference between getting your sister back or not." I nodded slowly, and a soft smile upturned her lips. "In the meantime, try to sleep and drink plenty of water. The best thing you can do to help your sister is to not get frazzled. It will help you make clearer decisions. Go home now and try to get some rest."

I stumbled from the police station, headed to my car in the parking lot. My entire body was numb. I lived in a universe I'd never known, nor had I wished to experience. It was a world without my sister. Breathe, Lani. Everything is going to be fine.

The door of my black Toyota seared my hand as I opened it, sliding into the sun-bathed driver's seat. I sat there a moment, completely still. The heat seeping through my leggings buzzed in the back of my mind, but that was all.

Then, emotion smashed into me. My forehead dropped to the hot steering wheel, and tears poured from my eyes. Wails escaped my lungs between heaving breaths; my body shivered uncontrollably. I cried and cried and cried. And just when I thought it abated, I cried some more.

I was so stupid. So, so, so stupid. I never should have let her go in the ocean alone. I should have joined her. That was my last chance to hang out with her before she disappeared. And I chose to rest on the beach. If only I had not stayed up the night before memorizing lines, I wouldn't have fallen asleep. And she would still be here. It was all my fault.

Mom and Dad.

The thought cut through my sobs. My tears waned at the distraction, only to be displaced by a stroke of fear. I still had not told them. I hoped Kiara would turn up and everything would be fine. But she hadn't. And three days passed.

My foggy vision stared at my phone. Slowly, my finger unlocked the screen and clicked on the phone app. I could not put this off any longer. I had to tell them I lost Kiara.