Can I Call You Appa?

Ch. 33

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Namjoon POV

".....what."

"I said I was-"

"I-I know what you said...But wow..."

"My life wasn't exactly smooth sailing. From when I was four to when I was adopted was when my issues started-"

My birth mother had me when she was 18 and she was a very beautiful woman. The first incident I fully remember was when I was 4 and she came home one night totally drunk. I woke up to her stumbling around the house, drunkenly knocking things over and knocking pictures off the walls. I came out of my room and watched her as she threw up into the sink. I was really scared, I was four and I didn't understand what was going on. I called out to her and she turned around. Her eyes were bloodshot and she looked angry. She came at me with a TV remote and that was how I broke my nose.

The second incident I fully remember was when I was five and she brought one of her boyfriends over. She had a lot of them but this one kept coming around. Our house was never clean and everytime there was a mess she would just leave it. This particular boyfriend kept looking at me funny and so I locked myself in my room whenever he came over. My mother didn't listen to me when I told her about it, she just kept pushing it aside.

One night this boyfriend came over with his brother and my mom called me into her room. She forced me to sit and watch her do nasty things with them. I cried the whole time and kept trying to get out. Every time I tried to leave my mother would throw something at me. I could never get the noises or the scene out of my head after that day.

The final incident I remember was before she left me at an orphanage when I was six. I had just started kindergarten and was really excited to tell her about my first day. I came in the house after getting off the school bus and saw her sitting on the couch. I came over and sat next to her, rambling about my day. She didn't look at me or acknowledge me, she just ignored me. The next day I came home and she had packed all of my clothes up into a suitcase and took me to an orphanage.

As cruel as my mother was I loved her back then. I didn't understand why she was the way that she was, I thought it was normal. I jumped around foster homes until I was ten because of my separation anxiety. When I was ten I met the parents I have now and my life is great.

"Joonie...why didn't you ever tell me?" He whispered.

I bit my lip, "I looked through your ex wife's case files..."

He raised an eyebrow, "And...?"

I fidgited, "Do you promise not to get upset...?"

"Namjoon, tell me what's going on." He demanded.

I sighed, "Your ex wife's mom is my birth mom...and her father is my real father.."

Jin's face visibly dropped, "S-So...you're tell me...t-that you're my ex wife's...brother?"

I slowly nodded, "I took a DNA test to be sure...I knew her parents looked familiar and then I got a flashback..."

"How long have you known..?"

I rubbed my face, "Since this morning..."

Jin looked very shocked and had some other emotion that I couldn't exactly pin point. I was praying to god he wasn't going to break up with me because of this. I look like her mom but nothing like her or her father. Surely he can't break up with me for something I didn't know and just found out about. I was just as surprised as he was.

Jin was quiet and didn't say anything. This made me really nervous because I couldn't tell what he was thinking. Was he angry? Was he disgusted? I didn't know. I just wish he would say something, anything. He wasn't looking at me and he just stayed silent. It made my nervousness grow and my heart was pounding in my chest.