Can I Call You Appa?

Ch. 19

There's a touchy subject discussed in this chapter. Please know you are not alone if this has happened to you 💜

Namjoon POV

It's been a few weeks since I yelled at Jin. It's now November 20th and he's been getting more and more busy with work. He's starting his transition from teacher to prinicipal so he's been going to a lot of meetings lately. He comes home after dinner most nights and looks absolutely exhausted. He shows me all the documents and rule books they give him. I'm proud of him, I really am, I just wish he would take a little break. The kids would be going on break and that means Jin will be too, I hope.

Ever since I yelled at Jin, I've secretly been going to a therapist on my lunch breaks twice a week. I didn't realize until after that outburst that I had a lot of pent up anger. The therapist I've been seeing works in my occupation field. She's in her 60's, but she's really cool. I was sort of embarrassed to tell Jin I was seeing a therapist and I didn't want to make it seem like he wasn't helping my built up anger.

I would never in a million years lay a finger on Jin or call him names. When I get angry, I just yell a lot of nonsense and after I yelled at him, I got really scared that one of these times I was going to unintentionally hurt him. So, for the last few weeks, I've been in therapy twice a week. It's honestly been helping talking to her about what's been wrong with me. I feel more relaxed and happier speaking with her.

"So, Namjoon, tell me about your relationship with Jin. Have you been with him long?" Ms Wang asked, taking off her glasses.

I was currently in one of my sessions now, "I've been with him since September 22nd, so almost 2 months." I explained.

She nodded, "And you're already living together?"

"Yes because his ex wife broke into his old house and he got scared so we moved in together." I stated.

"And that's been going well I assume?" She asked.

I nodded, "Very well."

"How about your sex life? Has it been difficult sometimes to be that intimate with him?"

I thought for a second, "Sometimes I freeze up but he always calms me down. I've only totally backed out twice but he never gets upset. In fact he just holds me and comforts me when that happens."

"That's good, you need that kind of partner. He seems to keep you grounded and happy."

"He's just everything I've ever wanted and more."

She smiled, "What does he do when you get angry?"

"Well, we have a rule we placed mostly for the children, but we follow it as well. When we feel angry, we need to separate ourselves from everyone else before talking it out. I usually lock myself in the closet or our bedroom and just yell to get it out."

She nods, "That's good, Namjoon. I think what you need is to let Jin take control."

I looked at her confused, "What do you mean?"

"Maybe try and switch your roles in the bedroom. It seems that your relationship gets tense when you're angry, so when that happens I suggest you let Jin take charge in the bedroom."

"I-I...I don't think I'm ready for that.." I said, shifting uncomfortably in my seat.

"Why not?"

"W-Well...It's not that I don't want to do that with him, it's just I'm scared I'll freak out and hurt him...He's such a sweet, loving, and caring guy. I love him a lot but I'm scared that if I let him do that, I'll end up doing something I'll regret.."