Can I Call You Appa?

Ch. 13

Currently off the next 3 weeks because Ohio has coronavirus. Yikes

Namjoon POV

It's been nearly two weeks since the Minji incident and to be honest things have become more serious between Jin and I. He's been very patient with me and understanding with my anxiety. I don't know what happened, I guess I just snapped. I'm not one to lash out emotionally so having that happen was terrifying.

I haven't had a panic attack like that since high school after the...incident. I was mostly embarrassed when Jin found out, but I was also extremely worried he was going to leave me. I thought he was going to think I was something I wasn't or that I was disgusting. I was so scared he would think I was a total freak and that triggered my attack.

Don't get me wrong, I cry all the time because it's manly to be open and cry about how you feel. After having that attack my whole body just kind of shut down. Every emotion I had, anger, sadness, confusion, hurt, just poured out of me. I didn't want Jin to see me like that but I'm kind of grateful he did.

Jin was just so patient with me and kept me grounded. He was starting to pick up the broken pieces inside of me and put them back together. He spontaneously would just hold me or hold my hand, and he would brush his fingers through my hair. He never spoke about it but his gestures of affection were more than enough for me. Jin didn't treat me like a victim but he treated me like a person. Him being there for me was more than I could ever ask for.

The boys had become more clingy since the Minji incident as well. Hoseok has started sleeping in my bed more often and has been asking for Jin a lot. Yoongi has started silently following me everywhere but kept his distance. Jungkook had no idea what was going on but he started following me everywhere too because he could. Jin said that Jimin had been asking for me a lot and that Taehyung wanted Kookie to protect him. It was sweet and actually helped ease my anxiety.

Also, the twins have started leaving their clothes and toys here. Jin has started leaving some of his things here, too. They were unconsciously moving in and it felt right. I wanted to ask Jin so bad to move in but I didn't want to rush anything. Secretly I had it planned out. Yoongi would get his own room because he's the oldest, Hoseok and Jungkook would share, and the twins would have their room. Or one of the twins could room with Jungkook, either way they would have to share.

I wouldn't mind having them here to be honest. I'd love to wake up to Jin's beautiful face every morning, or walking into the kitchen to see him making breakfast. I'd love to get the boys ready for school and drop them off together. Then every night tuck them all in while Jin and I snuggle in bed after a long day. Most of all, I'd love to just be able to come home and see the love of my life with my children cooking dinner or helping them with homework. My heart just swells thinking about it.

"Appa uppie!" Jungkook exclaimed, tugging on my pant leg.

Jungkook has started to try and talk more. Currently, his favorite words are appa, uppie, no, baba for his bottle, and bunny. He's also started to try and walk considering he's 13 months old. He's slowly getting the hang of it and has started to balance himself on furniture. It scares me because sometimes he'll just stand up and try to walk without holding anything. Out of all three of my kids, he's the dare devil child and will probably give me the most trouble.

"Come here my little bunny!" I exclaimed, picking him up and nuzzling my nose with his.

He giggled, "Appa bunny!"

"Yes you are appa's little bunny! Yes you are!" I cooed, kissing him all over his face.

"Appa! Can I have a cookie? I finished my homework!" Hoseok exclaimed, proudly showing me his writing.