Entry Fifteen

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May 19, 1944

Dear Nicolai,

I just learned that Mama died early this morning.

Everyone knew Mama was sick and everyone knew she was going to die. Early this morning, a group of soldiers raided her cabin and dragged her out. She, along with a whole group of women were given a bar of soap and placed inside a large bunker. After that all I knew was their bodies were pulled out and thrown into ditches one by one. Ivanka told me the whole story while working at the fields.

Do you know how I feel right now Nicolai? Mama and Papa are dead. Druka may be next. Ivanka tells me Valtren can’t keep his hands off of her and sometimes he sneaks her out in the middle of the night. I don’t want to know what he’s doing to her anymore. I honestly don’t want to wake up to this nightmare anymore.

This may sound selfish but I often wonder what death would be like. I wonder if when we die if we’ll go to a happier place. It’s so easy to die in this camp, but yet I haven’t met death yet. Death probably would be better then living in this hell.

Nicolai I’m so scared to be here. I know you’ll never come and get us and it’s stupid of me to write this letter in this notebook that no one will ever read. I miss you so much Nicolai.

-Your Brother-
Mika.

I let the tears slide down my cheeks as I closed the notebook. Mama and Papa were gone. Practically half the camp was gone, all dead. I estimate at least four hundred are still remaining but for how long is anyone’s guess. I just wish Torren could take me away from this hell.

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