bittersweet life

Chapter one

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Author's note:

This is my first book, so pleease don't judge me. I'm not sure yet about which direction this book will head, but as soon as I know, I'm gonna tell you.

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Chapter one:

Pain.

A feeling that humans really don't like. An intense feeling that you can differentiate into two typs.

First of all, there's the physically pain: it goes as quick as it came, it can heal, and you learn from your mistakes.

Then there's this other type of pain. The pain that hurts your heart, the strong feeling that even invades your own thoughts. And this is the pain, that can destroy you...

And what people are doing to make this awful feeling go away, is sometimes unbelievably sad.

They for example cut into their own flesh, thinking they've found a way to stop the aching in their hearts, thinking they would find a solution in their own blood that is running down in streams. They're trying ro find mistakes, without noticing that they're losing themselves completely.

But if I'm honest, then I have to say that I envy those people. Because they've found a way to zone the mental pain out. And I know for sure, that this isn't working on long terms and that it just seems to be a solution, but they've found some kind of comfort in it, so who's gonna judge?

So I'm aware of it being wrong, and that I'm possibly a terrible person, but I envy them so much that it hurts. 'Cause I'm still tapping in the dark, searching for the light at the end of the tunnel, but failing miserably...

My name's Anna-marie Jones, and I would do anything to pull this load off my shoulders.