𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙨 𝙟𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙣𝙖𝙡 | a byler story

chapter two : max mayfields locker

(1029 words)
⚠️homophobic slur⚠️
wills journal:

i woke up to the smell of breakfast. all i could recall from the previous night was crying my eyes out as mom embraced me, telling me i was very loved. exhaustion eventually felt like a cold and hard slap to the face. sleep doesn't come easy these days, so i just lay in bed and fake being sound asleep until i can't keep my eyes open any longer. today is back to school and i don't want to go. not just because i'm sleep deprived, but also because i don't want to have to see mike and jane holding hands, or looking into each others eyes lovingly. it snaps my heart into millions of pieces. i have to attempt holding back tears everyday and it's overwhelming. especially with the fact that nobody even knows why i get so upset. i want someone to tell, someone to understand what i deal with and relate with me. or just even listen to my problems. but who could i even trust with this? dustin is one of my best friends, but sometimes he just can't keep his mouth shut. i don't even know what lucas would do, but i don't want to tell him either. i obviously can't tell jane or mike. possibly max? she seems like she would be good with this topic. i think i'm going to ask max to help me, without giving her too much information, but just enough that she could help me.

wills pov:

i sat up in my bed, yawning and peering at the window. the sun poured in through my windows, causing me to squint. i slowly stood up and walked groggily to the window, shutting the blinds halfway. that way i still got a bit of the warm sunlight. i chose my red and navy blue striped shirt with pair of jeans from the dark closet that the sun didn't quite reach. i threw on the clothing not really caring too much about my appearance.

today i am going to talk to max, i truly need a friend to just listen to all my issues. as much as i wish that person could be mike, it just can't be. mike would most likely ask about the persons identity, but he can't find out that he is that person.

i opened my door, walking out and into the kitchen. i caught a whiff of the breakfast mom was making, and it was eggs. she cooks eggs a lot for breakfast, mainly because its easy to make and the eggs taste good. i personally think eggs are okay, not my favorite though.

"morning buddy, hungry for eggs?" she asked turning her head in my direction to give a warm smile.

"good morning, i'll have a little." i replied giving her a smile back. it was half real, because i know that my mom loves me dearly and wants me to be happy. so i try my best to always be in a good mood for her. she took a plate out of the cabinet, leaving it a crack open. she used a spatula to pick the egg up off the pan, serving it on my plate. she walked to the table and gently set the plate down in front of me, running back to the kitchen to get a fork. i ate my breakfast in silence, finishing it in a few bites. i set the plate by the faucet and made my way back to my room. i slung the backpack onto my back after i made sure that my notebook was inside.

*time skip*

i rode my bike to school, turning jonathans offer to take me to school down. i walked in the building and set off to my locker. i didn't want to draw any attention to myself, so i speed walked all the way there. i finally made it to my locker, put the combination in and opened it. i set my backpack down inside and grabbed my books. as i was about to shut my locker, i noticed a piece of paper lying there. i looked around to see if anyone was watching, then reached out for the small piece of paper. i opened it and immediately felt my stomach turn and my cheeks heating up. "f*ggot." is what it read on the innocent seeming note. i crumpled it up and threw it back in. i shut the door very quickly and some of my extra books fell out in my haste.

i mentally sighed and picked them up. when i glanced up, i saw max just a few feet ahead. my heart started beating really fast but i knew it would be better if i talked to someone. i started to rush towards her, walking as fast as my little legs would carry me. i finally caught up with her and smiled a little at her.

"hey max," i started,  "i was wondering if i could talk to you about something."

"yeah sure, is something wrong?" she asked me furrowing her eyebrow just a bit.

"i mean, i don't know? kinda?"i responded," but it's not that big of a deal." i added quickly, looking down at my feet.

"oh alright, so what's up?" she questioned, stopping at her locker to get her things she needed for class.

"can we not talk about it now, later we could meet up. if you want to, obviously." i half whispered, starting to get scared that she didn't even care.

"of course will, but why aren't you asking one of the guys. i thought mike was your best friend?" she asked me seeming very confused as to why i was coming to her for help. i could feel my cheeks heating up really fast.

"oh i uh,"i was at a loss for words at this point, "the thing is i can't tell mike." i started off slowly. she looked at me with such confusion and i could practically feel the heat radiating from my face. "okay i'll catch you later max, gotta get to class." i mumbled rushing off to my first class of the day.