Just realised you aren't gay, straight or bi? Scared you don't exist? Worried that there isn't a label for what you're feeling? This is the book for you! It starts off with the less little-known sexualities (asexual, pansexual etc) but gets to the...
So I thought that because my last chapter was about the asexual spectrum, I might as well go a bit more into detail with each of the a-spec identities. I'll start in the very light grey area and work my way down, so I'm starting with demisexual!
So as I said in the last chapter, demisexual means you only feel attraction to people once you have formed a strong emotional bond with them.
"That's just a preference. And it's normal!" It doesn't just mean you prefer to date people once you know them really well. It literally means you don't feel attraction at all until you have formed a bond. This means celebrity crushes and one night stands are pretty much off limits (depending on whether you're demiromantic or demisexual).
"But this can't be LGBTQ because it's not an attraction to gender!" Yes it can. The lgbtq community includes all sexualities that are not primarily heteroromantic and heterosexual. You can be heteroromantic and heterosexual and demisexual and be lgbtq! In my opinion, anyway. Asexual is lgbtq, therefore anyone on the asexual spectrum is lgbtq. Simple as. A
"Can I be demisexual and bisexual?" Yep! Demisexual is a type of attraction, whereas bisexual is the genders you're attracted to, so you can combine them! After all, saying you're demi (as cool as it is) won't tell people anything about the gender you're attracted to. If you're demi and pan, it would be called demipanromantic.
"So you're picky?" No...? Not in any way. It's perfectly acceptable to only be attracted to people only once you know them! And it's not like demisexuals are "picking" either. Just like everyone else, they don't pick who they like. It's just that only once a strong bond has been formed will the person desire to have a relationship with that person.
Do you want to date all of your friends? No! It's simple - not every straight guy wants to date every girl, and not every pan person wants to date everyone and everything, so why should a demi person want to date all their friends?
Think you might be demisexual? 1. Have you ever had a celebrity crush? 2. Do you go for people more for their looks or their personality? 3. Do you find yourself being attracted to your friends very often?
If you are demisexual, your answers will be along the lines of or similar to: 1. Nope, not a proper one anyway 2. Personality (but that doesn't mean you can't find people hot, it's just you wouldn't be sexually or romantically attracted to someone just because of their looks) 3. Yep
The flag The demisexual flag is the same colours as the asexual flag, just in a different order. The colours mean the same things.
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Just like most romantic versions of a-spec flags, the purple is replaced with green for the demiromantic flag
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