Desolate Nights

52 3 4
                                    

PoeticRin , your rate by emmiepooh2 is ready.

☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎

Since you are our first poem, we'll explain how it works:

Each of your 10 poems you chose to be judged will be in here given a certain amount of score each. You will also get details to help in every one of the sections, when needed. I'm very excited to judge your poetry! 

☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎

Vocabulary: 5/5

Veins .5+
You get the whole half of a point here because of the vocabulary in the poem. The words were not hard to understand and it made the poem make more sense.

Unrequited .5+
I would just have to say that your vocabulary was phenomenal in this piece. 

Depart .5+ 
The vocabulary made the piece by showing the emotion through word choice.

Let's Make Love .5+

Walk in the Beach .5+

Memories .5+

Mirror Tells no Lies .5+

Mean to be .5+

Understand? .5+

Three words .5+

Tone/flow: 14/15

Veins 1.0+ (-.5)
I give this a 1.0 instead of a 1.5 because it could use some more story in it. Like, don't be afraid to pour your heart out in it and get 12+ lines. Only having the 4 lines do affect the flow because it's like not finishing a book. It feels like it is incomplete.

Unrequited 1.5+
The flow was quite spectacular and set the tone 100% for that piece.

Depart 1.5+

Let's Make Love 1.5+

Walk in the Beach 1.5+

Memories 1.5+

Mirror Tell no Lies 1.0+ (-.5)
In reading this, it didn't make complete sense. I believe if you make it a longer poem it can be. 

Mean to be 1.5+

Understand? 1.5+

Three Words 1.5+

Emotion: 25/25

Veins: 2.5+ 
You did a spectacular job displaying your emotion in the four lines you provided and it was high key relatable. 

Unrequited: 2.5+
You did a spectacular job with this piece and made the emotions raw. That's what's the best part of poems. 

Depart: 2.5+
I could relate so much to this piece.

Let's Make Love 2.5+
The poem made me feel as if it was truly something that was said to another person due to the chemistry in the piece.

Walk in the Beach 2.5+
The raw love was so perfectly expressed!!

Memories 2.5+
It tells a rather sad truth to the world in such a good manner.

Mirror Tells no Lies 2.5+
Though it doesn't make complete sense, I would have to say, your poetry always shows so much emotion and this one displays a lot of it.

Mean to be 2.5+
This does relate to so many questions I know a lot of people want to ask. It hits so close to home for anyone and everyone.

Understand? 2.5+
This has to be my favorite piece now! The raw emotions showed exactly how I feel. 

Three Words 2.5+
I balled my eyes out, Rin. I mean it!!! This is so flipping true!!!

Poetry Techniques: 9.5/10

Veins: 1.0+
I loved how you used AAAA instead of ABAB or ABCD. I say that because it's the hardest thing to do, in poetry. At least it's the hardest thing I have done in my opinion. Also, its preferred for poetics, too!

Unrequited: 1.0+
I love how you change the way you wrote this one.

Depart: 1.0+
I love how you do various lengths for your poems.

Let's Make Love 1.0+
The passion was quite strong in this piece.

Walk in the Beach 1.0+
I love how it flowed like a butterfly throughout the piece.

Memories: 1.0+
I love how you truly just structured it.

Mirror Tells no Lies .5+ (-.5)
Due to it not making complete sense, I did take a point off. This doesn't seem like a well finished poem but more so an outline for it.

Mean to be 1.0+
I just truly love how you structured this poem, it got my heart aching from past experiences and for you!

Understand? 1.0+
The structure is just spectacular!!!

Three Words: 1.0+
I love the way it is structured and the technique you used.

Originality: 25/25

Veins 2.5+ 

Unrequited: 2.5+

Depart: 2.5+

Let's Make Love 2.5+

Walk in the Beach 2.5+

Memories 2.5+

Mirror Tells no Lies 2.5+

Mean to be 2.5+

Understand? 2.5+

Three Words 2.5+

Grammar: 19.70/20

Veins 2.0+

Unrequited: 2.0+

Depart 1.8+ (-.20)
Due to two grammatical errors you lost .2 points here. For line two, it should be 'is' and for line 4, it should be 'grow.' 

Let's Make Love 2.0+

Walk in the Beach 2.0+

Memories 2.0+

Mirror Tells no Lies 2.0+

Mean to be 1.9+ (-.10)
You forgot the 't' in the title. Otherwise, it is good.

Understand? 2.0+

Total: 98.2/100

Overall thoughts:

Are you thinking about publishing this poem book? I recommend that you should!!! Keep up with the writing.

XOXO
Emily

Moon's Underrated ReadsWhere stories live. Discover now