DAWN PAIGE GREY Young Adult Romance

Chapter 38 - Feelings .....

 “Dawn, would you like to take a bus tour of the island later this afternoon?” James asked as they sat by the pool bar sipping tall glasses of fresh orange juice with crushed ice.

Dawn swirled her crushed ice around the glass with her swizzle stick and wondered if she should ask James if this invitation extended out to Andy too. Looking at his face she decided not to ask and just play it by ear and see what happens.

When the tour bus stopped at a village café James escorted Dawn to a quiet corner table and ordered coffee for them. Dawn watched him walk to the counter to pick up paper napkins. She couldn’t help wondering how her life had got to this place in time. Here was a man who obviously attracted to her, but for her… well life had twisted and turned into such a state of confusion she didn’t know where her feelings ended or where they began. She just knew that right now she couldn’t consider James anything more than a friend and somehow she had to let him know as gently as possible without hurting him.

“Dawn, Dawn… hey where are you?”

“Sorry James just lost in thought.” 

“Dawn, I am sorry your marriage ended the way it did. I know you must be going through a lot of mixed emotions right now…and I sort of guessed something happened between you and Jace. The reason he was so desperate to see you before you married Luke.”

“He tried to see me… before the wedding?”

James hesitated before he replied. “Yes.”

“But he didn’t”

“I’m sort of to blame for that.”

“Ohhh… are you going to tell me why?”

 “Well, I knew your wedding day was just a couple of days away and you were staying with Andy because you needed time and space to think things through, so you really didn’t need him to complicate issues for you.”

“What did you do James?”

“Now Dawn, don’t get angry please. I only had your best interests at heart.”

“James, what did you do?”

“Well… he asked me to invite him over for drinks that evening after the boat races. He said he needed to talk to you…but I didn’t. You were already so stressed about the wedding you didn’t need him complicating things even more for you.”

Dawn sighed. She knew James was just thinking of her, but maybe, just maybe things might have turned out differently. Different in what way she didn’t know. She knew Jace had triggered unexpected feelings in her, but she couldn’t quite understand why. She loved Luke, well she did, but now… well now it was all in a muddle in her head.

He slept with Annie. It was no good him denying it. He wouldn’t have called out her name in the heat of the moment on their wedding night and the way he was making eyes at her all through their family lunch before their big day. Why the hell hadn’t he just told her he couldn’t go through with it rather than putting them both through so much pain?

“Dawn.”

“Sorry James, I was just thinking.”

“I thought so, as you seemed far away. Drink your coffee it’s getting cold and we need to think about getting back to the bus too.”

“James, I really appreciate you being so protective and thoughtful and…” Dawn chewed on her bottom lip. She didn’t know how to tell James she was not ready for another relationship right now and not for a long, long time. “I don’t know how to say this any other way than to just come right out and say it.”

“Dawn you don’t have to say anything. I understand, honestly I do. You’ve been through quite an emotional roller coaster ride lately and you need time. I know that and not going to rush you into anything you’re not ready for. I just want you to know I am here for you any time, day or night. You just have to call.”

“Thank you.”

He grabbed her hand and said, “Come on, bus is leaving in five minutes.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent enjoying the sights and chatting about everything except the topic that hung in the air between them. They both tried hard to pretend the conversation had never happened and they could get back to where Dawn didn’t know how James felt about her.

It was awkward for Dawn. Every time James accidently touched her, she felt uncomfortable and he apologised immediately. By the time the bus got back to their hotel Dawn was relieved. Time alone with James was going to be uneasy from now on and she would do what she could to make sure Andy was always with them for the rest of their stay.

“Hi Dawn, James. Did you have a good time?”

“Yes thanks Andy.” Dawn said giving him a rather tight hug. Her relationship with Andy was so uncomplicated and just what she needed right now.

Andy felt the urgency in her hug and sensed something was wrong. “Do you feel like going down to the pool bar for their evening BBQ?”

“Would you mind if I just went for a nice long soak in a bubble bath for a while.”

“Sure Dawnie. It’s your holiday. We’ll go and eat whenever you’re ready or I can order room service.”

As Dawn turned to go to the bathroom James said, “I think I’ll go down for a swim.”

Dawn turned back and smiled. “Okay. I’d join you but I really could do with a hot bath.”

“No problem Dawn, like Andy said it’s your holiday. We are here to make sure you relax and enjoy every moment.”

“Let’s all meet down by the pool bar in about two hours then.” She said looking across at Andy.

“Sounds good to me.” Andy said. 

“Me too.” James said.

Dawn just started running her bath water when Andy knocked on the door.

“Sweetheart are you okay?”

She opened the door and fell into Andy’s arms crying.

“Ohhh Dawnie…Go on Sweetie, let it all out. Don’t hold back. I’m here for you. Just cry out all you anger and frustration. Get it all out and then you can start healing.”

Dawn cried till there were no more tears. Andy sat down on the stool in the bathroom and pulled her onto his lap and cradled her in his arms, stroking her hair.