*TRIGGER WARNING*
I specifically remember my 15th birthday.
My friend got me a beautiful cat bowl that had four little paws on the bottom of it that stuck out of the bottom of the bowl.
This created 4 dents in the bowl.
The first thing I thought when I saw it was 'thank god, I can avoid at least 5 calories if I make sure I leave food in there.'
I hate myself for that.
The first fucking thing to cross my mind when my friend gave me a present was avoiding eating.
I remember the joy that passes through my mind.
I fucking hate myself.
How could I do that?
How could eating less be the first thing I think of in a time like that?
She had just given me my fucking present!
I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for thinking that when my friend has gone to the effort of choosing me a beautiful present.
I'm so, so, so sorry Isabel. I've never told you that that was what I was thinking, but if for some reason you are reading this (if you've found my account) then just know I'm sorry. I wish I could make it up to you.
That birthday was pretty bad.
My parents spent so long making a cake and I didn't feel like I could throw my bits away.
So I ate it.
I really regret eating that cake.
I still do now, even though that sounds stupid.
YOU ARE READING
Skinny Girl
Random*TRIGGER WARNING* Please don't read this if you have suffered (or are suffering) with an eating disorder. It's not good for you, and I don't want to hurt you. I do NOT encourage any of this behaviour. I know how awful it is, but sometimes you just...
