Charmed Life.

Chapter Thirty Seven.

© All rights reserved.  LittleThingsInLife

Chapter Thirty seven.

"So how did Mr and Mrs Spencer take the news about the incident on Friday night?... and your new relationship with their son?" Dr Greene asked after I filled her in at my next appointment.

"They were shocked and sad to hear what had happened on Friday, Sandra was distraught and I'd never seen Karl look so mad before. He'd kept his emotions in check when they'd visited me at the hospital after the police got Derek. Which is funny to me because I was bruised and beat all over, and he still managed to stay calm and collected. Maybe he'd had time to process it and knew what he was walking into. This was thrown at him with no warning." I explained, remembering the look of outrage and pure hatred on his face when I'd told them what had happened.

They got even more mad when they discovered the police had agreed with the parents and were letting them handle it, but after I told them how I felt and added that I would be up to my eyeballs in court issues soon enough and wanted this one to just disappear, not to mention he was being sent away to military, they calmed down enough for me to drop another bomb on them.

Well, it wasn't me who did the talking this time, Aiden took the lead on this part of the conversation and I stayed by his side looking down at the floor in embarrassment. If it were up to me I'd have kept our... relationship, if you were calling it that a secret until we figured out what it was we were doing but he convinced me honesty from now on was the best policy.

"Come again?" Karl asked, his eyebrows dipped in confusion before zoning in on our entwined hands.

"Oh my! This is... just amazing," Sandra gushed unawares to her husbands burning gaze, I thought Aiden would drop my hand after seeing his fathers glare, but if anything he squeezed tighter.

"Well... we're taking things very slow, and -."

"And what does that mean exactly... 'taking things slow' you're twenty two, she's seventeen, what kind of a relationship are you envisioning?" Karl interrupted, finally turning his gaze upon his son with questioning anger.

Aiden was confused, and to be honest I was right there with him. Why was Karl so angry about this, surely he knew his son would never hurt me?

"I'm aware how old she is, and I'm also aware of everything about her... what is it you think I'm planning to do here dad?" His confusion had made him defensive.

"That's why I'm asking you... son."

"I'm planning to be whoever she wants me to be, I care about Alex more than you know, and would never do anything to hurt her."

I wasn't sure me speaking up would help the situation, although this was about me, it felt more like a father, son conversation that needed to be dealt with from the father and son. I knew this was why Sandra hadn't added anything, even though looking at her she had plenty to say.

They stared at each other for a long minute before Karl's shoulders dropped in defeat? relief? The jury was still out.

"I know you care about her, I'm sorry I reacted so negatively. You need to realise that all I want to do is protect this girl, and my instinct to do so kicked in. I'm not entirely pleased about this, and we'll need to have a chat about rules, I know you're an adult Aiden, but you still live under my roof and Alex is still underage. But... if there were anyone I trusted to be with Alex, it would be you."

He finally looked at me and his eyes softened before he smiled down kindly.

"You've been very quiet in all this, don't think those wide eyes are going to work on me. We need to have a serious conversation and set some ground rules, but if you're happy... then I can learn to get used to this." And that's when Sandra finally started to gush.

....

"It was kind of... nice, like what I assume a father would be like to his daughters date; You know what you see on shows and stuff, when they question the guys intentions. If it hadn't been super embarrassing for the both of us I would have probably laughed at Aiden getting reprimanded by his dad." I finally finish telling her about my Sunday evening.

"I see how that would come across, although I'm surprised you would mention anything relating to father figures after our last session when I brought him up, would you be willing to talk about him with me today?" Dr Greene asked hesitantly, and I could understand her caution.

I'd pretty much blown up at her last week when she'd mentioned my real father. It was in truth a sore subject; I didn't often think about him. The last time seeing him, not including the funeral, was at the hospital when mom had just died... but when I do think about him I'm filled with hate, at myself for declining the option to go live with him as I would never have suffered like I did, but also at him because had he been a father to me and a husband to mom none of this would have happened. To say I blame him would be an understatement.

"What is it you want from me?" I asked. "I hate the man, he abandoned me and my mother long before the fire, and in all honestly I just picture him as dead as mom. I haven't spoken to him in years and I wouldn't want to. How does bringing him up help me?"

"You feel he abandoned you, and although you may not see it, it's affected you greatly. Sometimes you discuss your staying with the Spencer's as a temporary thing, like they'll get bored of you and leave. You don't say it in those words but I hear it, and I'm wondering if the way your father left hasn't brought this fear of being pushed aside and forgotten."

I laugh humourlessly "If I feared being left behind why would I be settling in and telling them my secrets and agreeing to start something with Aiden, if I just thought they'd push me aside why am I getting closer to them?"

"Because more than anything you want to be accepted, you want a family, and you're doing an amazing job at setting down roots, but you have to admit to yourself your fears. Or else we're never going to push past them." Her words make me want to get angry and yell again because deep down I know she's right. I always say 'the other shoe will drop' that doesn't always mean I think I'm going to be physically hurt... sometimes I just envision the Spencer's deciding that bringing me into the house was a bad decision and I'm just left on the side of the road.

Rationally I know this would never happen, but stupid Dr Greene keeps bringing things up I want to lock away.

"What is it you propose I do then?" Even I can hear how sarcastic and petulant I sound.

"For now... everything you're already doing. Believe in your friends, your family, and your new relationship, maybe one day you'll push past the hate you feel for your father and remember the good memories you have of him. Hate is never a healthy emotion to hold onto. Fleeting anger and hatred isn't too detrimental... but it takes a lot of effort to hold onto a grudge than to simply let go and focus on the good in your life."

Easy for her to say.