Chapter Thirty-Eight

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———Matt Pov:*One day After Edd's diagnosis*

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Matt Pov:
*One day After Edd's diagnosis*

My gentle twinkling alarm clock turns on which wakes me up, I slowly open my eyes and look at my ceiling for a good few moments before lifting the blanket off me and pressing the stop button, I then stand up from my bed and do some stretching before walking over to my mirror. Edd told me to say I'm beautiful everyday so that's what I'm going to do.

I look into the mirror closely and firmly say, "You're beautiful," I then take a deep breath and say, "That wasn't so bad! I already feel better.. well sorta at least." I sigh before getting dressed and leaving my room.

*Two Days Later*

My alarm clock goes off and I slowly open my eyes, another day of endless paperwork and seeing Edd only get worse.. great. I slowly hit the stop on my alarm and sit up, I rub my eyes and get out of bed.

I walk over to my mirror and sigh; I try to say the words quickly to get it over with, but I end up staring at the mirror for around five minutes by accidentally zoning out. I shake my head and say, "I'm.." I hesitate. "I'm beautiful..." I look at myself a bit more in silence before getting dressed and heading out without another word.

*Four Days Later*

Once the alarm goes on I slam it with my fist which shuts it off, I grab my hair tightly and growl in annoyance before getting out of bed. I didn't get any sleep so I'm really agitated, Tom's practically killing himself and it's driving me completely mad since he won't stop or let me help him.

I walk over to my mirror with a dark glare and look into it, I don't look good at all.. Why does Edd want me to lie to myself? I take some deep breaths to try to calm myself down, chill Matt chill.. keep your cool and everything will be okay.

I look myself in the mirror with shiny eyes and say, "I'm..." I pause for second before trying again. "I'm!-..." I sigh and slowly bend my legs until I'm hugging my knees on the floor. "I.. I can't do this..." I then begin to sob for half of the entire day.

*Five Days Later*

My alarm goes off like everyday and I don't even try, I continue to hug my knees as I lay on my side and shiver from being cold, the blanket hasn't been on me all night. The alarm continues to go off, but I just lay there in silence.

I've never been beautiful.

*One Day Later*

I haven't moved since yesterday, I don't want to move one inch because once I get up.. that means I have to say those horrid words to myself, and I can't bear to do it.

I hear a knock at my door and someone say, "Purple Leader! I noticed you didn't get your mail yesterday so I decided I'd get it for you!" It's General Jakob; but even though it's my friend, I still remain silent. "Purple Leader?" he asks as I still refuse to speak.

"I'll just slide this under your door, it looks by it's from the rebel recruitment station so I figured it's pretty important," General Jakob continues. The recruitment station? What could they want? I hear a paper slide under my door and General Jakob says, "Alright I'll leave you be now! Bye bye!" I then hear footsteps echo away from my door.

The recruitment station isn't the type to contact the leaders unless there's a emergency.. so it's probably extremely important... I sit up and look to the envelope on the floor, I should probably look at it.. but then I'd have to get up and tell myself those words...

I sigh and mumble to myself, "I can't stay in bed forever, I have to say it eventually..." I sigh and slowly get up from my bed, my bones slightly crackling from not moving for so long.

I walk over to the envelope and pick it up, seeing it really is from the recruitment station. I rip it open and pull out the letter, I slowly read it, "Dear Purple Leader, we have received a rebel that wishes to become a secretary of one of the two leaders. We figured we'd contact you first since Blue Leader can be a stubborn one when it comes to help, so we were hoping you could get him to agree to having a secretary. The rebel's filled out form is in the envelope as well, so you should look at him a bit for yourself as well. Much appreciation, Rebel Recruitment Station."

A soft smile slowly curls my lips from the good news, this will really help Tom with work and he won't end up killing himself through paperwork... I.. I feel so much better now knowing he can get help..

I look to my mirror with a determined look, I walk over to it and place the letter and envelope on my dresser below. I look at myself closely and examine all my features. This is for Tom and Edd.

"I'm beautiful."

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