Broken Promises

57 | blake

"What happened?" Noah cups my face in his hands and studies every inch of my skin closely, as if the answer to his question is painted on me somewhere. His blue eyes meet my brown, and I notice that his are dark and stormy, full of concern and confusion.

I smile weakly at Noah, his presence instantly helping to calm me. I know that I should fill him in on what happened this morning, as Noah has been kept in the dark. I vaguely remember fainting in the hallway, waking up in the nurses's office and falling into a crying mess. She gave me a pass to go home, so my mom picked me up and had my sister drive my car to our house. I've been trying to rest, as apparently a lot of blood rushed to my head when I fainted, which has left me feeling shaky all day.

Noah came over as soon as school ended, telling me that Jess has been blowing his phone up all day. However, she failed to tell him anything other than the fact that I fainted and went home, which explains Noah's apprehension.

"I'm okay," I assure Noah, resting my hands atop his. However, I immediately find myself wanting to take back the words. I'm not okay, and for once I feel like maybe I should admit that. I try so hard to keep everything hidden so that nobody will worry about me, so that I can be a person others can lean on. But there comes a time when even the strongest of people need to lean on others, and I need to learn that being able to express what I'm feeling doesn't make me weak. It's what makes me strong.

With this in mind, I inhale a ragged breath and admit, "Actually, I'm not."

Noah's dark eyes fill with worry once again. "Tell me what happened, Blake," he says, sounding distraught.

So I do. I tell Noah about how I felt as if people were staring at me upon walking into school this morning. I tell him about Jess's news, the whispers, and Mason. All of it circles back to Mason. No matter what I do, I can't seem to escape him. He has some sort of invisible hold over my life, and I am suffocating in his grasp, trying to break free to no avail. I'm tired of Mason Chase controlling me. I just want to be set free.

Once I finish talking, Noah turns his back to me. I notice the way his jaw clenches, his hands forming fists at his sides. He's full of tension, no doubt angry on my behalf. Part of me finds comfort in his reaction, as it assures me that I will always have Noah, no matter what happens. The other part of me fills with worry, because I know Noah can be reckless when he's blinded by rage.

"Hey, look at me." I rest a hand on Noah's shoulder, as we're both in my room, our own confined space while my family converges downstairs. "I'm not going to let him treat me this way," I continue. "I'm done letting Mason walk all over me, Noah. He's not going to get away with this. I don't care what I have to do. So don't worry about me, okay? Don't let it bother you."

"How am I supposed to not let this bother me?" Noah questions. "You're right when you say he's not getting away with this. After everything he's done to you . . ." he trails off, features twisting with anger and disgust. "I just don't fucking get it. I'm going to beat the shit out of him until he feels an ounce of the pain he's caused you."

"Noah," I say softly. "Just calm down. I know you're angry—"

"Yeah, I'm angry!" Noah cries, interrupting me. "How many times is he going to hurt you, Blake? How many times is he going to get away with treating you like shit? I'm not gonna stand by and watch him act like he's innocent after what he did."

"Why are you letting him get to you like this?" I whisper, wanting to understand Noah's anger and where it comes from. "You're better than him. You know that."

"Because I love you, Blake!" Noah exclaims. "I love you, and when you love someone you hurt when they hurt and you get angry when people cause them pain. That's why I can't just stand here while the fucking bastard is out lying and placing all of this shit on your shoulders. I have to do something!"

I blink after taking in Noah's words, needing a moment to process them. If I heard him correctly, Noah just said he loves me. Just the word coming from his lips is enough to increase my heartbeat, to make me forget about all of the bad going on in my life and instead focus only on this moment.

"You love me?" I whisper, needing confirmation. Noah Reed just told me he loves me. And I think I'm in love with him, too. I've never felt this way before, so ecstatic that someone has said a single word to me.

With my question, Noah relaxes. The tension in his shoulders and facial features fades, a sheepish expression taking place. Noah runs a hand through his hair as he glances at his feet before finally meeting my gaze, anger diminishing until it's gone.

"Yes," Noah says in a breath, answering my question. "That's not how I wanted to say it for the first time exactly, but . . . yes."

"What do you mean that's not how you wanted to tell me?" I ask. A million butterflies are fluttering in my stomach. I want to tell Noah that I love him, too; that I've been in love with him for a while now. Only the words seem to be stuck in my throat, and I'm incredibly nervous to say the words. I think I've unconsciously put some sort of weight on the words, and saying I love you to someone is a big deal to me.

Noah steps toward me, fire dancing in his dark eyes. Unlike a few moments before, Noah looks as calm as ever as he reaches for me, as if he is sure. Of this. Of us. He wraps an arm around my waist, his free hand cupping my cheek as he pulls me into him, glancing down at me with an amused smile.

"I wanted to tell you like this," he whispers, "I love you, Blake Alyvia Rhodes. I'm in love with everything about you. I love the person I am when I'm with you. I love the way you make me feel. I love knowing that I'm lucky enough to get to tell you I love you. Only you, Blake. For me, it will always be you."

"I love you, too," I choke out finally. "I'm in love with you, Noah Reed."

Noah smiles against my skin, making me smile in return. I wouldn't trade what I have with him for the world. It's only when I'm with Noah that everything I've had to go through makes sense. If I were given the choice to go back in time, to change all of the mess that I've been put through, I wouldn't dare. Because everything I have had to go through is what led me to him, and I wouldn't risk not having met Noah Reed.

Noah captures my lips with his, kissing me tenderly. We wind up in my bed moments later, and Noah holds me in his arms as I rest my head on his chest, his arms wrapped around me making me feel warm and safe. Noah plays with my hair and I listen to the sound of his heart beating in my ear, the rhythm steady and soft, his heart beating for me as mine does for him. Soon, my eyes begin to feel heavy, and I fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat, feeling at ease for the first time all day.

I drift off to Noah's whisper of, "I love you."

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a/n: dating someone long distance is literally so hard and makes me cry so much shjssjsj