Broken Promises

71 | blake

Noah doesn't call.

If I'm being honest, I can't say I'm surprised. After Noah told Caroline he didn't want to speak to me earlier today, I think part of me knew he wasn't going to. Despite myself, another part of me was hoping that I would turn out to be wrong. I'd hoped that Noah would call me, even if he didn't feel like talking much. At least then I'd know that Noah doesn't want to push me away, that he knows he can rely on me during tough times.

Late in the afternoon, I'd debated with myself whether it would be a good idea or not to go to the hospital, but I never quite came to a decision. It's dark outside now, so I guess I'm not going, but I'll admit that a part of me wants to. I want to see Noah, to wrap my arms around him and comfort him; to have his arms around me and find comfort. But Covington County is a pretty long drive away, and if Noah didn't even want to talk to me over the phone, I don't know how he'd feel about me arriving unannounced. I think he just wants his family right now, as this is a personal thing for him to have to go through.

I want to be there for him. I just don't know how to. I don't know if he wants me to.

"So." I flinch, so lost in thought I hadn't my mother entering the living room, where I sit on the couch. "Did he call?"

My gaze casts down to my phone, which I've been absentmindedly clutching in my hand.

"No," I mumble. Mom takes a seat on the couch next to me, wordlessly pulling me into her arms and holding me comfortingly as she runs a hand over my hair soothingly.

"Don't overthink it, honey," Mom tells me. "The poor boy is going through a lot right now. I know you're worried and just want to hear from him, but you have to see things from his perspective. He'll call when he has a chance. And if he doesn't call, you can talk to him when you see him next."

"I know." It's hard to speak through the lump in my throat. "I'm just so worried, Mama. I don't know what's going on, and I know he's hurting, and . . ." I trail off, my bottom lip quivering as tears line my vision. "I don't know how to help him, Mama. What can I possibly to to even slightly ease his pain?"

"Love him," Mom says softly. "The only thing you can possibly do to help him at a time like this is to remind Noah that he is loved. By you. By his father. Caroline. Our family. He still has people who are here for him. Sometimes the only thing stronger than pain is love, honey. I know it's hard, but sometimes love is all we can give."

"I love him so much," I say as a sob racks my body. "What happens to him if he loses her, Mama? He's going to be crushed. It will destroy him."

"Honey," Mom soothes, pulling me into her tighter as she strokes my hair. "Don't say that. Noah's mother is going to be just fine. Don't think otherwise. She's going to be okay. He's going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay."

I rest my head against my mother's shoulder, crying into her skin. I try to tell myself that she's right. Everything is going to turn out okay. There's no point in thinking otherwise.

However, a voice in the back of my head whispers that something between Noah and I is ruined for good.

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a/n: i am so hungry right now i could literally eat my house omg