Steven Universe: The Return [English FanFiction]

26. Classic Drama

【Twenty minutes later.】

Peridot 9XL: *speaks through the communicator* I did it! I've finally managed to tap into the security cameras, they've been turned off; you can go in without any problem!

Stevonnie: Copy that. I appreciate it.

Lars: Five minutes, my ass.

Stevonnie: We've got a clear path now, let's go!

[The entrance to the storeroom opens and the dropship flies in smoothly. Once inside, they find Peridot as the site manager of the place.]

Amethyst: *looks out the window* Wow, look at Peridot. I'd forgotten what she looked like in those limb enhancers.

Stevonnie: *looks out the window* So did I. Look, over there!

[Stevonnie points at a group of Pearls.]

Stevonnie: There are lots of Pearls.

Amethyst: True. I don't see ours anywhere, though.

Stevonnie: That's odd, she was supposed to be here.

[Peridot walks up to the pilot's side of the dropship.]

Peridot: Alright, Nephrite, just hand me the report and have your crew bring the shipment down for the Pearls to sort and stow.

Nephrite Cut763: Sure, we'll get right on it.

Stevonnie: *looking out the window at Peridot* She's distracted, now's our chance!

Amethyst: *summons her whip* Let's go!!

[The doors of the dropship burst open, taking Peridot by surprise. Amethyst lashes her whip at Peridot and manages to wrap it around her body.]

Peridot: *shocked* Wh-what the heck?!

Amethyst: I've got her!

[Amethyst ties up and subdues Peridot in the same way as she did in "Jailbreak" some time ago.]

Stevonnie: Well done, Amethyst.

Peridot: Who the hell are you?!

[Peridot struggles to break free.]

Peridot: What are you doing here?!

Amethyst: We're your friends, and we're here to save your butt, you... CLOD!

Peridot: Hey, don't steal my lines!

Amethyst: Shoot! I thought her favorite word would bring her back to normal.

Stevonnie: Me too. Still, there must be a way to help our dear friend.

Peridot: Friend?! I don't even know you clods! I don't need you to help me with anything either, I feel great!

Stevonnie: Mmm, what if we try with Camp Pining Hearts?

Amethyst: You're right. *turns to Peridot* Hey, Peri, do you remember your favorite show, that dreck you used to watch with Lapis 24 hours a day?

Peridot: My favorite what with who what?

Stevonnie: The classic great northern teen drama, Camp Pining Hearts.

Amethyst: Doesn't that name sound a little familiar, Big P?

Peridot: Not really.

Stevonnie: Don't you remember Percy and Paulette, the best pair in the whole show?

Peridot: ...

[Peridot gasps as she flashes back to the day she saw Camp Pining Hearts for the first time.]

TV Narrator: On the last episode of Camp Pining Hearts...

Paulette: I don't care if you're on the yellow team, Percy. We can make this work.

Percy: It's the color war, Paulette. Does that mean anything to you?

[Paulette and Percy close in for a kiss as the brief flashback ends.]

Stevonnie: Come to think of it, the Camp Pining Hearts Reboot wasn't such a bad show to tell you the truth. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that Rodrigo and Jasmine are characters full of charisma and better written than the originals.

Peridot: How dare you say such a thing!?! *she shouted in anger*

Amethyst: Did it work?

Stevonnie: It did.

[Peridot begins to glow, returning back to her current self.]

Peridot: *enraged* I thought it was clear to you by now that Percy and Pierre are the most compatible and superior pair in the whole show! And don't give me now that Rodrigo and Jasmine have more charisma than the original characters!

Stevonnie: Please chill out, Peridot. I didn't mean it.

[Peridot makes an angry face and grunts.]

Amethyst: *sarcastically* "Hey, guys, thanks for saving me." - "Why sure, Peridot, that's what friends do."

Peridot: Oh, right... Wow, thanks.

Stevonnie: Welcome back, Peridot.

Peridot: You know, being in this position brings back certain... memories from the past, so would you be so kind as to untie me now please?

Amethyst: Oh. Sorry about that.

[Amethyst proceeds to untie Peridot.]

Stevonnie: And now... *looks around* Where is Pearl?

Peridot: *stands up* The Pearls ran away in panic when you attacked me, now they must be hiding around there.

[All the Pearls - hidden in a corner of the storeroom - shiver in terror at what has happened.]

Amethyst: Guys, I just have found them! *points at the Pearls* They're in that corner.

Stevonnie: What about our Pearl?

Amethyst: *looking for Pearl* I found her, she's here too!

Stevonnie: Good, bring her here then.

[Amethyst walks up to Pearl and forcibly carries her in her arms.]

Pearl: *trembling in fear* Wh-who are you?! What are you going to do to me?!

Amethyst: We're not going to do anything to you, just keep quiet, will ya?

Pearl: *in tears* Please don't hurt me, I'm absolutely worthless! I'm just a mere, insignificant servant pearl!

Amethyst: Oh, c'mon! Since when are you a drama queen?

[They took quite a while to restore Pearl's memories. They did the same thing as in the movie, but it has been omitted for brevity. And then they filled her in on the situation they were in.]