(Because I can only think in shitpost-)
...
Horror: murder is the answer to everything! Just think about it! Having a bad date? Stab 'em! Mom isn't letting you have pizza for dinner? Cut off her head! Put in prison for murder? Break out and shoot them!
Dust: who hurt you as a child?
...
Cross: choco
Nightmare: *holding chocolate bar out of his reach* no
Cross: I wants choco
Nightmare: no choco
Cross: *voice distorted* G I V E
Nightmare: *drops chocolate bar*
Cross: Thanks!
Nightmare: *internal screaming*
...
Bad sanses at the mall
Killer: *riding a unicorn ride at a mall* WOOHHOOO-
Nightmare: *sounds like a tired mother* Horror, you cannot eat that child's head
Horror: aww man...
Dust: *just stands there licking an ice cream cone*
Cross: Nightmare! Nightmare! Can I get this chocolate bar?!?!
...
*screaming along to the lyrics*
Cross: THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS MAYBE
Dust: *normal voice* burn it like it's fading
Horror: NO MORE HESITATING
Killer: *with a lighter* LET THE SPARKS FLY BABY
Nightmare: ...so are you going to light the camp fire or not?
...
Horror: *watching Troom Troom* I wonder if I really can glue this lightbulb to an ice cream cone?
...
Dust: *eating a fruit cup* Nightmare bought the wrong kind, AGAIN.
...
Nobody:
Reaper: *USSR anthem*
...
Reaper: ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY
Geno: *moonwalking in the background hitting a pot to the beat*
...
Nightmare: so uh, Cross, you know how everything I wear gets stained blank?
Cross: yeah... Why?
Nightmare: this sweater I'm wearing used to be pink, and I kinda wish it still was.
...
*Killer, Horror, and Dust have put Nightmare in a dress*
Killer: *on the phone with Dream* I don't think your brother is okay.
Dream: why do you think that?
Killer: me and the others put him in a dress an hour ago and he hasn't taken it off or murdered us yet, I'm scared.
Dream: ... Was it pink?
Killer: what do you- oh, the dress. Yes, it was pink.
Dream: he's currently reveling in the fact that what he's wearing isn't black. His favorite color is pink so I'd say give him until his goop stains the dress black and THEN he'll kill you.
Killer: is he gonna change out of the dress?
Dream: probably not.
...
Cross: I'm never gonna let you leave. Why..? Because I love you~
Nightmare: IF YOU LOVE ME LET ME GOOO~
...
Killer: I'm gonna stab you in the neck. I'm gonna do it. You can't stop me.
...
Nightmare: "bake bubble, bubble bake. Apple pie is fun to make!"
Dust: why the Frick are you quoting Max and Ruby-
...
Nightmare: *staring into your soul* I've seen your search history, there's no stopping me now.
...
Killer: MAH FLOWAHS MAH BEAUTIFUL FLOWAHS
Dust: why are you screaming, it's two in the morning
...
Ink: YO-KAI, YO-KAI WATCH
Dream: HE'S GONNA BUILD A SUPERNATURAL ENTOURAGE
Blue: HE CAN TALK TO THE SPIRITS
Dream: HE DOESN'T HAVE TO FEAR IT
Ink: AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GONNA HEAR IT
All: CAUSE YOU KNOW HE'S GOT A YO-KAI WATCH
...
Horror: HELLO I'M CROSS I'M GONNA GO TIM HORTON'S AND GET SOME COFFEE MMMM I'M SO CANADIAN!!!!!
Cross: I'm Horror and I eat ass.
Horror: oh.
...
Cross: *genuinely curious* hey, Killer, is the black on your face part of your skull or can you get it off or something
Killer: oh, yeah, it's a kind of thick liquid, a thicquid, if you will
Cross: so can get you get it off your face?
Killer: *rubbing under his eyes* I think...?
*killer's line things have been smudged on his face badly*
(That night)
Killer: Nightmare, I need your help...
Nightmare: huh, Killer, what do yo- oh good lord what happened to your face?
Killer: I smudged the lines by accident and I was wondering if you have some alcohol wipes and a black sharpie?
...
Ink: I'M GONNA YEET MYSELF OFF OF A BUILDING!
Error: Ink, no.
Ink: You want me to live?
Error: No, I want to throw you off the building myself.
...
Killer: I love myself, even though I look like an burnt (undercooked) chicken nugget I still love myself
...
Nightmare: *in the tune of the Caillou theme song* I'm so fricking done, with my fricking life, I'm gonna stab a b*tch, I'll end you~ end you~ I'll end you~ do do do kill me.
YOU ARE READING
UnderTale au shitposts and jazz
FanficI'll be shoving a lot off random headcanons, shitposts, and if you're lucky, mini stories in here. prepare for pain and suffering. story cover is by me.
