Reminiscing The Blueprints (COMPLETED)

Chapter 16-Loving Him

TRIGGER WARNING: ATTEMPTED SELF-HARM.

Your health matters most. Kindly play the video attached too. Thank you for patiently waiting. :)

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Wala sa sarili akong naglakad kahit sobrang lakas ng ulan pa-uwi sa condo. I didn't care if I could get sick dahil ang inaalala ko lang ngayon ay ang mga magiging reaksyon ng mga taong naniniwala sa kakayahan ko.

'Ayaw kong maging numero uno kung kapalit niyon ang pagkalimot mo sa pangarap mo...'

What did I do?

Why is it so hard to admit that I'm already failing everyone?

Tapos ngayon, nawala pa 'yung isa sa mga taong kinakapitan at pinagkakatiwalaan ko. Walang-wala na 'ko. Ubos na ubos na.

'And I began accepting the fact that I'll always be number two when it comes to you.'

I didn't know that she was carrying that burden all along. Hindi ko alam na may hinanakit na pala siya sa 'kin. I failed to notice it because I got used to her cheering for me in every achievement that I have.

"I'm s-sorry, Av..." umiiyak kong bulong sa sarili.

"Miss, magpapabangga ka ba?!" I heard a man shout so my brows furrowed. Pinunasan ko ang mukha ko dahil wala na 'kong ibang makita. The rain poured harder so I had to realize it quicker.

Bigla akong nakahinga ng maluwag nang makita ko ang sasakyan niya sa harapan ko.

"Dark..." I called weakly.

"Woman?" bigla siyang nanlambot nang makitang basing-basa na 'ko sa ulan. Lumabas siya sa sasakyan nang walang dalang payong pero agad niya ring tinanggal 'yung jacket niya para ilagay sa ulo at balikat ko.

"Why are you damn out here? Umuulan, hindi mo ba nakikita?!" nag-aalala niyang tanong pero wala akong ibang ginawa kundi ang yakapin siya.

I buried my face on his chest and began to cry all over again. "Please don't leave..." I whispered.

"Let's talk at home. We're causing traffic, Woma—"

"Stay with me, okay?" I met his eyes. "Please.... Wala na 'kong ibang makakapitan,"

"Let's talk later, Woman,"

"Won't you stay with me?" I asked, not minding the people's noises. His brows furrowed as he slowly looks away. 

"You know my answer, Cass..." he sadly answered.

"But please get in the car. Magkakasakit ka niyan." He then guided me but my tears didn't stopped. I felt pain knowing that he won't stay with me.

"Ikaw nalang 'yung kinakapitan ko sa mga oras na 'to," I whispered but still, he didn't answer and already drove our way to the condo.

"Here, let me guide you," Dark let me sit in the sofa. "Wait here, I'll get you a towel..."

"Dark..." I called so he stared at my direction again. "No need. I can handle,"

His brows furrowed. "Woman, you're damn wet. What do you want me to do? Just stare at you while you're suffering?!" he said in a high voice.

Pilit pa rin akong tumayo kaya wala siyang nagawa kundi ang alalayan ako. Noong makarating na kami sa CR, sinara ko na agad dahil ayaw kong makita niya 'kong umiiyak.

I tried to call Ava but she couldn't be reached. I tried again but on my sixth attempt, she just blocked me to avoid my call.

Doon ako biglang nakaramdam ng pag-iisa. I tried to open my twitter but she also blocked me both in private and public account.