After the Death Cure ( The Maze Runner )

Chapter 4

The elevator closes, and I'm left alone in the silence.

 In my thoughts. I remember everything now. I remember loving him. I don't love him, though. It's as if I remember, but don't feel it. I can't feel how it felt to love him, enough to enter the Maze. I wish I did.

Oh, how I wish I could feel it.

The elevator reaches level two, and I step out onto the tile floor. The room is big. It has tables and chairs everywhere, all lined up in rows of seven. The tables are white, everything here is.

It's a cafeteria of course, and there are people in line, at the tables, talking, I guess. I don't hear them; it's as if I've been deafened by my own thoughts. My own sorrow.

I walk over, and grab a tray. All they have are sandwiches...reminds me of the Maze. Almost every lunch was the same...sandwiches.

I sit by myself, of course, or at least, I thought I would. Joshua walks to me, and takes the seat across from me. He just stares at me for a minute. I don't talk to him first though...he's obviously here to talk to me. I don't want to make this conversation longer than it needs to be.

"Good afternoon, Kenzie. How are you?"

I shrug. That's my usual response. "I guess I'm good...you?"

"Doing great, actually. Progress is picking up. Your whole headache illustration has succeeded immensely. But, I'm here to talk to you about your memory.  I believe-"

"I was actually wondering about it too." I lean forward, over my tray, and rest my elbows in front of it. I whisper, in case anyone was listening. Even though I know no one was, "Why don't I love him?"

He leans back in his chair, rubs his chin, thinking. I remove my elbows from the table, sit back. I rest my hands in my lap and stare at them. I regret saying that. I hope he doesn't tell Newt.

He stares straight forward, and removes his hand from his face, and sticks his finger near his head, as if he's had an idea. "Do you think-maybe-" he leans forward, rests his arms on the table, interlocks his fingers, "after all those years, you might have fallen 'out of love' with-"

I look up at him, "No, no that's not it. I do, but I don't. I care about him."

"Yes, and I care about you, but I don't love you."

I sit with a frown that I can feel on my face. That hurts, that really hurts. I have to love him...I have to. "Do you think maybe I just...forgot that I love him? Maybe it hasn't come back yet?"

He sits there; I see the look of disbelief in his face. WICKED always thinks they're right; that all of their plans are "full proof". That the thought of me losing feelings for someone because of a glitch in their experiments is impossible.

"How about this," I can hear the disbelief in his voice now, "you try to spend more time with him, get to know him better-"

"I know him."

"Yes, well, you understand- and see if those feelings come back...if maybe there was something that failed and made you lose feelings for him. Ok? My only guess is that you have been away from each other for a long time. I hope you figure things out." He stands up, and walks away. I eat my lunch alone, which I'm perfectly fine with, and make my way towards the observation room-the room with the subject.

I reach the room, and see Barbara with a notepad, standing in front of the window. She turns to look at me, smiles, and motions me to come to her, and I do. She explains how my hypothesis is working, and how most of the traces of the Flare in the man are gone. Nothing is new, I guess.