After the Death Cure ( The Maze Runner )

Chapter 48

I stand alone in the quiet room for a few moments, then I drop to my knees. I don't want to die! I feel the tears pour out like a crashing wave, devouring any and everything in its path. I cover my face with my hands, and sob into them. "I dont want to die!" I say out loud, although muffled by my palms. I hope that no one is still in the observation room. I quickly dry my tears, and stand up. I don't want anyone to know until the meeting.

I stand in the room idly for about five minutes as I wait for the tears to dry. There's no one in the observation room when I leave. Not even the guards. They must have been ordered out for privacy.

I make my way to the elevators. I don't want to eat...The elevator stops, and opens on my way up to my room. Minho steps in. "Hey. Miss Ava is going to announce something at lunch. Tell me what it is, ok?"

"Yeah," he scans my face, "What's wrong?"

"Is it that obvious?" I ask as I dry my eyes a little more.

"Yes, very. What the shuck is going on?"

"You'll find out at lunch. I'll be in my room, so just come and tell me, alright?" He crosses his arms, and stares at the elevator doors. "Minho?"

"Ok, alright. Fine..." The door opens.

"Thanks." I step out, and head to my room. The tears start to flow again. I don't want to die! I can't help but think that over and over. Sure, I've faced death plenty of times, but never like this. No fight, no chance. I'm going to die this time.

I lie on my bed, and hold the dream catcher close to my heart. It takes a whole hour before I receive a knock at my door. I rush off of my bed, and open the door. "What'd she say?"

"There is gonna be a meeting on level eleven. Now. You have to be there, too," Minho says with a confused look.

"Ok, well...come on I guess." I close the door behind me.

"Were you crying again? Kenzie, what's going on?"

I ignore his questions, and walk past him to the elevators. He doesn't ask me anything anymore. It's a good thing, too. I don't want to start crying again.

We reach level eleven, where about one thousand people sit, chattering about what's going on. The Gladers sit in the front row, and there is only a chair left for Minho. I look up at Ava. She motions me to stand next to her podium on the stage, and I do.

I scan the Gladers, looking for...Newt. He's staring at me, eyes wide. I stare back at him. I see him mouth to me: What's going on?

I feel a surge of guilt race through me. I look down at my feet, then back at him. His eyes are full of sadness. I don't want you to know. I think to myself. He sqeezes his hands together, still waiting for my response. I can't make eye contact with him anymore. It's too painful. I look at my hands, and pull off my ring.

I will always come back for you.

I try to hold back the tears as I slip it back on. But I can't do the same. I hate thinking that, but it's true. There's no "fake McKenzie" this time. I can't come back like he did. I clench my jaw. Don't you dare cry. I close my eyes shut, and continue to keep my head down towards the floor.

After a minute, I look back up at Newt. He's still looking at me. I stare at him for a second. He doesn't even waver. He keeps his eyes locked on mine. I finally find something to reply with: I love you. I smile at him, and he smiles back. Why did I just do that to him?