WANTING TO FORGET (supraman38) (itssamcollins) (Sam Collins)

What do i feel |11|

Chapter eleven: what do I feel

I shut my bedroom door lightly and collapsed face first into my bed letting out a sigh of relief. Shutting my eyes momentarily until I heard my phone buzz on my desk. I rolled over and sat up, not wanting to get up. But I did. It was a text from Sam.

Skype me, it read.

Why would he want to Skype if we could just text? I sat down at my desk and logged into Skype on my laptop and saw that I had and incoming video call from him. Why now though? I had no makeup on and my hair was a frizzy matted mess. I ran my fingers through it to smooth it the best I could. Then I answered him.

"There you are, hey El!" He said cheerfully. Usually I don't like when people called me El but it seemed, right, when he said it for some reason. He looked really good for it being almost two in the morning. His hair is styled up and he's wearing a grey sweatshirt, but one thing I noticed the most was his bright smile. He had this happiness that radiated off of him, maybe its something I hadn't noticed before or maybe I notice it more because it's just one on one, me and him. That thought made me feel good.

"What've you been up to today?" He asked me spinning in his computer chair.

The events of today rushed back and I felt a sudden burst of anger. "Ha, do you have time?"

He glanced up at me and stopped spinning slightly, a weak smile fell upon his face, I know he sensed something had gone on. "I always have time for you." His tone was light and airy.

"I went to a pool party with Allie and her cousin Danny. I just got back actually." I said pointing my thumb behind me. "It was a pretty long drive to Danny's friends house but I like driving at night so I didn't mind, anyways to make a long story short Allie thought it'd be a funny joke to leave me alone in the pool with Danny and. . ."

"And what?" He asked. "Did he hurt you?" I sighed and shook my head. "No."

"Did he splash you with water?"

". . .did he," Sam hesitated, "touch you?"

"Well it's not as bad as you probably think it is." I said.

"The fuck?! Of course it sounds bad, what exactly did he do?" His sudden over interest into what happened puzzled me. Why did he need to know details? And why was his demeanor changing?

"He asked for a hug but when I tried to let go, he didn't. Then his hands kinda started to move south, if you know what I mean. It didn't go that far though don't worry." I told him.

"Why would I be worried?!" He said defensively.

"Well the vein on the side of your head is visible, and you have a really strained look on your face."

He loosened up and chuckled nervously. "It's just weird to hear that, that happened to you."

"Oh, I see. I thought it was because of something else, guess not." I said, wanting to take it back instantly. Why did I do that.

"And what would that be. . .?" Sam asked.

My answer could make this conversation very awkward, but I don't want to lie and I also don't want to leave what I feel in the dark. "I just thought that you didn't like the idea of a guy. . .never mind, forget it."

"Of a guy?" Sam persists not taking my hint.

"Look I know I'm probably wrong as hell but I thought the reason that you cared so much was because you liked me and yes I know that we haven't been talking for a substantial amount of time-"

"-SHUTUP already!" Sam raises his voice interrupting me from my banter.

I watch as he takes a few seconds before saying something. I feel like he's questioning himself on what to say like trying to come up with a nice way to say I don't like you. I don't blame him though.

"Well it's cause I do." He said covering up his smile and looking down.

"Wait what?" I didn't expect that answer. My heart started to race and I involuntary shook my leg in nervousness.

He took a short breath and moved his hand away from his mouth. "I'm awkward as shit and I never do this but uhm, I do. . .like you. You're weird as fuck though so I have no idea why." He jokes.

"Hey! Whatever!" We both laugh.

"I just don't think I'm ready for a relationship yet, I've been hurt enough times to where I kinda wanna steer clear from all of that."

"Yeah, that's understandable." I said nodding. I shouldn't have given my hopes up.

"I gotta go Eloise, I'll talk to you later okay." Before I could say anything he ended the call and I was left sitting there regretting saying anything. I know I put him in an uncomfortable situation, but I didn't mean to.

Wow for the third time today I feel really shitty. That's a record. I shut off my computer and took a quick shower before getting straight into bed. I started to fall asleep until my phone lit up on my nightstand. I usually turn down the brightness so if I get a notification in the middle of the night it doesn't bother me.

I squinted with one eye open as I checked my phone. Immediately both my eyes shot open, am I seeing this right?

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@Supraman38 i think I made a mistake. I take back what I said. I want you 😳