While I am delivering my speech ay wala doon ang utak ko. I was thinking about something na mismong sinasabi ko ay hindi ko na maintindihan.
"Thank you," iyon lamang ang naintindihan ko sa lahat ng sinabi ko. Maybe because I memorized it kaya hindi halata sa mga taong narito ang pagkawala ko sa sarili.
Bumalik na ako sa table namin. Everyone's eating at ako ay tulala parin.
"Anak?" Si Mommy na siyang nagpabalik ng tuliro ko.
"Mom," sambit ko at bumaling sa kaniya.
"Is there something wrong? You've been off lately," bulong ni Mommy sa akin.
"I'm fine Mom," sabi ko at nginitian siya. She just nodded at ipinagpatuloy ang pakikipag-usap sa mga bisita.
I was sitting there at tuwing may bumabati sa akin ay nginingitian ko lamang.
"She's my fiancee..."
Iyon ang paulit-ulit na naririnig ko sa aking isipan. Ako ba ang tinutukoy niya? O baka iba?
It's impossible. Kung fiancee niya ako ede sana alam ko. Wala namang engagement na naganap so, how come I am his fiancee? I was just overthinking siguro. Pilit kong iniwala iyon sa aking isipan.
"Anak, stand up. The Alvarez' are here," bulong ni Mommy na siyang ikinatayo ko.
"Happy Birthday iha," the woman Alvarez offered her hand kaya naman ay tinanggap ko iyon. Ang asawa naman nito ay kausap ngayon ni Daddy.
"Happy birthday!" Nagulat kaming lahat nang malakas na sumigaw si Lucas, iyong batang kausap ko kanina. Nginitian ko lamang siya.
"Ah Hi?" Isang lalake ang lumapit at inilahad rin ang kamay sa akin. Siya iyong nagsabing fiancee niya raw ako o baka naman hindi ako ang tintukoy niya. I am just assuming.
"Happy Birthday," he greeted.
"Thank you," pormal kong sambit at tinanggap ang kamay niya.
Napansin kong tumahimik ang paligid at nakita ko si Mom at Dad na nakatingin sa amin pati narin ang mga Alvarez na agad naman nilang binawi at muling nag-usap.
Agad ko siyang iniwasan at bumaling kina Mommy, pretending to listen to them to avoid him. There's something in him na hindi ko gusto.
"You don't remember me don't you?"
Napabaling ako sa kaniya nang magsalita siya. I looked at him trying to figure out who is he. He is familliar pero nakalimutan ko kung saan ko siya nakita.
"The flowers? Letter?" He said trying to make me remember.
Agad akong napatakip sa bibig ko nang mapagtanto kung sino ang nasa harapan ko.
"Oh my god! It's you!" Mangha kong sambit.
Muling napabaling sila Mommy sa amin dahil sa gulat na sambit ko.
"You two know each other?" Kuryusong sambit ni Mom.
"We've met Tita," sabi niya.
"Oh?! Okay," gulat pero may halong sayang sambit ni Mommy.
Nagulat ako nang biglang lumapit ang mukha niya sa akin. Wait, is he going to kiss me?!
"Can we talk somewhere? I want to talk about the flowers and the letter," he whispered.
I cleared my throat. Of course he's not gonna kiss me. We're in public and we don't even know each other. I don't even know his name! And I'm too young for him. He's old.
Naglakad siya palayo kaya naging hudyat iyon na sundan ko siya. Isusuli ko na talaga ang sulat na iyon. Pero paano ko isusuli ang bulaklak e malapit na iyong malanta. Should I buy one? Why am I thinking this?
Nakarating kami sa labas ng venue kung saan may dancing fountain. I didn't know there's something like this. Sana pala pumunta na ako dito kanina. I looked at the dancing fountain and admired it. It's so beautiful especially that it's night. Lumilitaw ang kulay nito.
"Did you read the letter?" Tanong niya na siyang nagputol ng tingin ko sa nagsasayawang tubig.
Bigla akong kinabahan sa sinabi niya. Anong sasabihin ko? I didn't read it. Katelyn read it allowed kaya nalaman ko kung anong nakasulat. Hindi ko naman binasa iyon.
"K-kinda," I said.
"Good," sabi niya at nakapamulsang bumaling sa nagsasayawang tubig.
"Good?" Takang tanong ko.
"Para sa 'yo naman talaga iyon," he said looking at the fountain.
"What?!" Gulat kong sambit.
Did I heard it right? At bakit naman siya magbibigay ng bulaklak sa akin? He doesn't even know me and same goes for me.
"Yeah," tipid niyang sambit.
"Why? Hindi naman tayo magkakilala? And I read the letter. impossible naman ata iyon," I laughed nervously.
May namumuo na sa aking isipan but I chose to deny it.
"You really don't know?" Tanong niya at bumaling sa akin.
"Know what?" Kinakabahan ko nang sambit.
"I understand. You're young. I'm five years older than you. You're not even in your legal age kaya naiintindihan ko," sabi niya at akmang aalis pero pinigilan ko siya.
"What do you mean?" Tanong ko.
He stood there perfectly and looked at me with cold eyes.
"You're bound to marry me," he said it like it was normal.
Habang ako naman ay gulat parin kahit iyon naman talaga ang iniisip ko kanina. Hearing it from him seems real.
I looked away in shocked at patuloy na pinoproseso sa utak ang narinig.
"I was told to send you flowers and that cliché letter. Don't worry you're not my type," sabi niya pero hindi ko pinansin dahil nasa fiancee thing pa ang utak ko.
"P-Pero...bakit hindi sinabi nina Mom at Dad sa 'kin 'to?" I asked him like the answer was at him.
"You're only 16. Baka kasi hindi mo pa maintindihan."
I still can't believe it. Sana naman sinabi nila sa akin. Hearing it from someone hurt me.
"Iyon nga. I'm only sixteen and I'm engage without me knowing?!" Nababaliw na sambit ko.
"You know what it's pretty normal when your family is into business. This is normal. If I were you I would enjoy my life before I turn eighteen. Because the reality will start there," he said and walked away.
Hindi ko na siya napigilan na umalis. I will be married to that man? He's old. Ni pagboboyfriend nga ay wala pa sa isip ko, pag-aasawa pa kaya? I can't believe this is happening!
And why it seems like everyone knows even the people inside at ako mismo hindi ko alam?
I should enjoy my life before I turn eighteen right? But how can I enjoy it when I know at the end I will be miserable?!
Funny how I only watch this on movies but look at me now, parang ako pa ata ang malas na nilalang ngayon.
I sat there and cried. Akala ko ay ako ang gagawa ng future ko but it turns out that my parents already planned for mine. I can't imagine myself married and having an unhappy life.
Hindi ko lubusang maisip.
