Sain Clare Academy (gxg, 18+)

Chapter Twenty-one

And then the moment was over, as soon as it began, and she pulled me up from the dip. A few people around us whistled at the display, and I hid my burning face in my hands as I realized how close we had been. Grace pulled us out of the crowd, sitting widely on a nearby fountain before taking me under my arms and lifting me. I gaped, swinging my legs uselessly-- I was a grown woman, I hadn't been picked up since I was a child.

"What are you..." I protested, "I'm heavy, don't--" I stopped when she placed me between her legs, wrapping her arms around me to hold me still.

"You're lighter than the textbooks I carry around all day," she assured me, and I glared at her.

"I'm definitely heavier than your textbooks," I asserted, and she shrugged halfheartedly.

"Doesn't feel like it," she told me. I gaped at her.

"They're like, 40 pounds tops, I'm definitely over a hundred!" Maybe it was the dance, or maybe I was drunk in her presence, but something about her made my childish side come out. I never acted like this-- a pouty child-- around anyone, even Katarina. Grace hummed, the vibration against my skin feeling way better than it had any right to.

"I've heard things become easier when you want to do them, little rabbit," she rebutted, and the blush I had been fighting returned with full force.

"I'm sure that doesn't apply to people's weights," I mumbled, hiding my face in my hands. Her laugh, which rumbled through her body, went straight through me-- which totally didn't help. I was supposed to be acting like her friend, not thinking about how much I wanted her to pick me up again-- though perhaps for a different reason.

Nope. Don't go down that rabbit hole of thoughts, Morgan. Right. Self-control.

Grace gently pried my hands off my face, bringing one to her lips and planting a kiss to my knuckles. I startled in surprise, pulling my hands out of her grasp and clutching them to my chest. She chuckled into my hair as I turned my eyes downcast.

"...Where are your friends?" I wondered aloud after a few beats passed, my eyes scanning the crowd. A few people were sneaking us glances, probably because of how much Grace stood out; she was stupidly gorgeous. Still, Amanda and Hamilton were nowhere to be seen.

"That doesn't shock me. I could imagine why they'd leave," she told me, and I felt a pang of guilt run through me.

"They must have been uncomfortable, I'll have to apologize later," I said, realizing that nobles wouldn't really know what to do in that sort of situation. Though the commoners had accepted Grace with relative ease after I pulled her in to dance, they usually tended to ostracize nobles.

"No, it's not that," Grace let me know, as if I were missing something. "They probably did it for my sake." I was confused.

"What do you mean?" I tipped my head back to look at her, eyebrows furrowing at the glint in her eyes.

"Don't worry about it," she smiled. I squinted, hating that she was hiding something from me as if I were a child. I'm older than you, you know, I wanted to say.

At that reminder, my heart sunk again. This peaceful atmosphere, Grace's proximity, all of it would be erased by the end of the month. I still didn't know how to say goodbye.

"It's that look again," Grace murmured as she stared down at me. I gazed up through my eyelashes.

"Look?" I struggled to control my expression. It didn't feel as if I had any special look on my face right now.

"Yes," she said, "you always get that look in your eyes when you see me."

"You mean when I see your hair?" It was the only thing I could think of. But... lately, I hadn't been noticing her hair as often.

"No, not that one," she sighed. "You look at me as if at any moment I'm going to disappear, like a ghost." My breath caught, and I turned to look down at the ground, my legs swinging lightly between hers. I bit my lip, not knowing how to respond.

I couldn't tell her; I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet.

Was it selfish to want to have her to myself for a few more weeks before I departed? I was always terrible with goodbyes. I stiffened, clutching my hands against the material of her shirt and snuggling my cheek into her shoulder.

I wanted to speak, to tell her it was okay, that that look didn't mean anything, but I couldn't bring myself to lie to her any more than I already was.

Silently, she rubbed soothing circles into my back. I sniffled, my throat beginning to close up. Something about people rubbing my back always made me cry, and I had to try my utmost not to give in to the prickling sensation in my eyes.

The rushing of the fountain behind us was soothing, its gentle spray coloring the air with tiny water crystals and staining it with the smell of clean rain. The warm breeze lifted my hair lazily, brushing across my face like a caress. Its comforting sensation somehow made my shoulders stiffen further, shaking with dry sobs.

People would laugh if they saw the regal and perfect Professor Eclaire like this, sniveling in the arms of someone she would inevitably abandon.

I knew it was unfair to Grace, to get closer to her when I knew we would be torn apart. There was no choice, I couldn't stay a student forever, stay as Olivia forever. Even now, I knew I only had an hour at most before the transformation magic gave out.

If Grace Belloway found out who I really was, there was no way things would be fine.

Because my family had sworn an oath against theirs, and that oath was thicker than any fleeting feelings could ever be.

In this world, family was everything. A king would give up the lives of all of his people, all of his land, for his family-- even if he didn't like them that much. More than that, the people themselves would expect him to.

In this world, family was more important than anything. No matter how much my heart yearned to release my ideals, there was no way I could give up my father's dying oath because of an infatuation.

A/N:

In the US (where I live) the culture is very individualistic, so family isn't a huge thing here-- it was really interesting for me to create a culture where family was valued over all else.