Sain Clare Academy (gxg, 18+)

Chapter Thirty

When I finally calmed down, I realized I was pressed against Grace. I pulled back enough to look at her, a pang going through me when I saw the pain and worry and adoration laced in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I said. I'm sorry I can't tell you why I'm crying. I'm sorry I can't give you a proper goodbye. She wiped a tear away with her finger, placing a kiss on one of my swollen eyelids.

"Don't be sorry, it's okay" she replied, softly, and I wanted nothing more than to believe with all of my heart that it really was.

But it wasn't okay, and I needed to accept that. I gazed up at her, her blue-blue eyes somehow clearer than usual, and wondered if I would be able to withstand the pain when their tenderness turned to ice cold apathy.

"I want to know why you're crying, what's made you so desperate," Grace closed her eyes, resentment coloring her voice. "I want to know so I can help you, but... I understand. I won't push you to tell me something if you don't want me to know." That's how she was, just and fair and understanding to a fault.

No, I wanted to reply. It's not that I don't want you to know. It's because, if I told you, these last moments with you would only end faster.

"It's not that," I hesitated, "it's..." I couldn't find the words.

"Is it why you hide your power?" She questioned, and I bit my lip. Her eyes flickered down at the movement.

"It's hard to say," I told her. Something crossed Grace's face at my words, and I smiled softly at her. "Sometimes I wish... that I could stay with you, like this, forever. That I could, could-- I don't know.

"It was nothing I had ever experienced, being with you, being with May and Elizabeth and just..." I hesitated. "You know, it was kind of nice, being underestimated like that, despite all of the dumb petty harrassment and rumors. Because, being treated as if I were normal is so much better than looking someone straight in the face and seeing nothing but fear, seeing them tremble when you did nothing more than simply exist and notice them; the crippling expectations, to always be perfect, they're so much. I don't know how you do it, how you stay sane and perfect all of the time with that kind of pressure. More than that, I guess, I want to be there for you when it all gets to become too much." I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to see her reaction.

"..." She stayed silent, allowing me to continue.

"But I know it's okay, because you have friends like Amanda and Hamilton," I breathed. "People who care about you, people who would go to the ends of the world for you."

"They're the only ones I can trust," Grace admitted. I probably would have lost it again, if it wasn't for her caressing soothing circles on my back.

"Yeah," I croaked. "I'm happy to leave you in their hands." She tightened her grip on me.

"Does... does all that mean what I think it does?" She sought, searching my face. She seemed to receive her answer in my expression. She pulled me closer so I couldn't see her face and I wondered through the pain in her voice what emotions she was wearing.

"You should depend on them more," I told her, thinking of Thurman and Katarina, "they care about you more than you know. It's lonely to live your life without letting people in." I hoped that Grace didn't make the same mistake as me, to push everyone away. It was only after I met her, after I met May and Elizabeth, that I realized what a wall I had built up. How I had treated people who considered themselves my friends.

"You don't have to leave," she pleaded. I smiled fondly into her shoulder.

"I wish that was true," I murmured, too low for her to hear.

...

That was it. It was over.

I stared at myself in the faculty bathroom mirror, the strawberry blond hair and steel-gray eyes, puffy and red from crying all night, of Professor Morgan Eclaire staring back.

Get yourself together, I told myself. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I stepped out of the bathroom, feeling pathetic as I pushed myself toward the principal's office. I straightened my shoulders, knocking once.

"Enter," his deep voice boomed, and I pushed the door open, pressing my hand to my chest and dipping slightly.

"Good morning, Principal," I greeted.

"As dignified as ever, I see. Please, take a seat." I moved to where he was gesturing, sitting on one of the plush chairs. He laced his fingers together, leaning forward on his desk.

"I'm here to report my choice to the duke," I let him know. He nodded.

"Great. I will relay the information myself. Who have you chosen?" I righted myself.

Anna, the hidden genius, with a severe loyalty to her brother.

Annakin, the charming manipulator, disliked by many yet holding the support of a surprising number of noble houses.

Finally, Grace, the perfect student, epitome of justice and beauty.

When I gave my decision to the principal, he smiled widely, amusement dancing in his eyes.I gripped the edges of my seat in my hands, eyes flickering to the floor.

"As expected of the brilliant Professor Eclaire," he praised, "what an interesting choice. I'll be sure to notify Duke Belloway as soon as possible."

I'm sorry, father.

A/N:

So I know a few of you were upset about the cliffhanger last time, but uh... 

Here's another one? <3

I hope you're all having a wonderful day :) (I really appreciated your comments. They always make me smile.)

The first plot arc is almost done!!