The Surgeon. |✔️|

XXXIII.

Jay

"Aight, it's okay, ... no more tears." I spoke softly to Aries as he struggled to calm himself down. Immediately, I laid his warm body against my chest and rocked him gently before walking out of the bedroom. I wasn't surprised that Beyoncé didn't wake up so soon since she was extremely exhausted at this point, so I simply took it upon myself to have him for a few hours until he would go back to sleep. Quietly, I made my way down the steps and listened to my son make tiny noises throughout our journey to the kitchen. When I made it, I held him securely in one arm and successfully placed his pre-made bottle of breastmilk in the warmer with my free hand. We both waited patiently for the timer to go off and once I let it cool for a minute or so, I walked over to the couch and cradled him in both arms. Aries took the bottle right away and we sat in silence while looking into each others' eyes.

Knowing that I was now a father still felt unreal, and having two boys counting on me was a hard pill to swallow. I was so use to ripping and running the streets with no obligations but now that life was no longer suitable for me; I have a family to provide for and can't risk the chance of putting them in harms way. Although it felt great to have Aries here, I was missing the hell out of Amias — my lone trooper. Coming home without him was the worst feeling ever, even though I didn't showcase my pain the way Beyoncé did. Every moment of my day I spent thinking and praying for him to recover, so thankfully I kept the faith that things would turn around.

Yet besides that stress, dealing with Beyoncé's antics were no better. I hate to admit this shit out loud but what we argued about the other night extremely hurt my feelings, almost as if she stepped on my heart with no remorse. It was completely disrespectful for her to disregard my emotions when I've been nothing but patient with her mood swings, and now I felt that enough was enough. This wasn't the first time we've argued over this topic, but I was going to make sure this was the last; she needed to give me the same respect, no matter what situation we were going through. Lord knew I loved this girl with all my heart, but it was time for me to put my foot down and demand some sort of change that would make our relationship work.

I left my own thoughts when I sensed Aries no longer tugging at the nipple. Slowly, I removed the bottle from his mouth, then draped his feeding blanket over my shoulder before tapping his back to initiate a successful burp. After his release, he calmed down soon after yet stayed wide awake as I held him close.

"Dad loves you so much, you know that? You and your brother; .. I know you miss him, but he'll be here soon." I rambled as Aries coo'd in response as if he knew exactly what I was saying. After a few minutes of peaceful silence, I didn't expect him to fall asleep so soon. I wished he would of waited a little longer since I had to change his diaper, but thankfully he didn't get too riled up throughout the process. When I figured he was back into a deep sleep, I laid in him in the bassinet on Beyoncé's side of the bed before going back to the guest room. The feeling of having no intention on cuddling up with my girl felt strange, but I needed her to catch my drift that I was indeed hurting. Before I laid my ass back in the bed, I took two Tylenol for my headache and went right back to sleep.

The sound of my phone vibrating on the side table caused me to jump. I grabbed my phone right away and didn't bother to check the caller id before answering.

"Hello?"

"Good morning, son!" My mom spoke at a high volume in my ear. Quickly, I pulled the phone back and looked at the speaker crazily that she was this alert at 9 in the morning; damn, I was only asleep for four hours?!

"Hey mom, everything okay?" I replied after a few moments.

"Everything is fine, dear. Did I wake you too soon?"